Survivor's Guilt (Temporary Hiatus!)
by Kachelle486
Summary: What if instead of loosing Lexie in the plane crash, Meredith lost Cristina and Alex. This story follows Meredith in getting back to normalcy after the two people who had always been there is gone forever. Some Spoilers for Season 9
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer; I do not own any of the character's in this, all are property of Shonda Rhimes and whomever else**

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**This is the first fic I am publishing, thank you for clicking on this! Just before you start reading, here is a little more background for the story. The shooting never happened because I didn't like the shooting at all, Meredith never lost the first pregnancy and they had the baby, a girl. They decided to try again a year and a half after the baby was born, that is when Meredith finds out she has a hostile uterus. After no luck with trying for nearly two years, they decided to give up. They never tried to adopt Zola because it wasn't a good time for them, their daughter was only a year old.  
**

**This story isn't going to be just about Meredith's PTSD, it will have family issues and other everyday problems that will come arise in this. Main ships in this are MerDer, Slexie, Calzona, and Japril will also be together.**

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"Are you sure you guys don't want to do this?" Mer asked again. She tapped her foot against the floor, she hated talking about the plane crash and was ready to put it behind her. She still had a duty to Cristina and Alex to make this right, they deserved better than to just be thrown aside.

"Look Mer, if we do this lawsuit then the hospital will be liable, the hospital will go bankrupt and we will have no where else to go. If we do this then everything we worked for will all go down in flames," Derek spoke against it, he didn't like the idea of it from the beginning.

"We need justice for Alex and Cristina, for Mark almost dying, for the nights of wonder if we will ever be found, for your hand," Meredith kept on, She knew that she had Lexie on her side.

"I'm against it and I don't want any part in this. We can get justice for all of this but not this way," Derek argued, looking at Mark for help.

"She has a good point man, we could have died out there and someone needs to take the blame," Mark took Mer's side, wanting action.

"Think of the few good things that came out of this, most of us are alive, Mark and Lexie found their way back to each other, we got to stay in our home instead of moving away, and I get to spend more time with Maddie," Derek pointed out. Meredith sighed, knowing this was going to go on forever.

They continued to fight, Lexie took sides with Derek because she just wanted it all to be over. After an hour of back and forth, everyone decided not to file a lawsuit.

"Thank you, for finally agreeing with me," He smiled, taking Mer's hand as they made their way down to the daycare. He was proud that he won that time, it was rare he ever won an argument anymore. They walked into the daycare, the kids were scattered out in their groups. Maddie was playing at a table by herself, she has always been independent but will work with others when she has to or wants to. They greeted the daycare worker before going over to the table where she was sitting. Her dirty blonde pigtails that Derek fixed earlier that day had been messed up and her green eyes focused on the task at hand.

"She's more focused then most of the interns here," Meredith said in a quiet voice, Derek laughed and nodded along.

"Hi mommy, hi daddy," The little girl smiled up at both of us as we walked over to her table. She was creating a block tower with pink blocks.

"Hi pumpkin, you almost ready to go home?" Derek asked and she nodded.

"Go get your backpack so we can leave," Meredith said, she took the blocks down and put them away in their correct spot. She disappeared around a corner before coming back with a princess backpack on her shoulders.

"I'm ready," she giggled, looking up at the both of them. She grabbed on to Mer's hand. They all walked over, signing her out before walking toward the car.

"Mommy, why isn't you woking tonight?" She questioned, she was so use to Meredith be working almost every night and always questioned why Mer was home.

"Well because there are other doctors who can also save lives so I can spend more time with my favorite girl," Mer smiled down at her. Mer had a sudden bad feeling that came over her, it was a mix of nausea and sadness.

"But you is de bestest at it," She was confused, Mer thought to herself that should be here for her more often. That was the one thing she never wanted to happen.

"Your mommy is the best as it but sometimes she needs a break," Derek answered her this time, fumbling in his pocket with one hand. The automatic doors opened to go outside as they stepped out in the light drizzle coming down.

"Daddy, I can't get my shoes wet," Maddie stopped under the canopy.

"Maddie, come on, it's just water," Derek sighed. He seemed really tired and wanted to go home.

"Mommy," she whined. She gazed at her dad then her mom.

"Madelyn Rhea, just walk, the ground isn't even that wet," Meredith raised my eyebrow at her, Maddie also raised hers and crossed her arms. She was trying to get her way.

"No," she put her hand on her hips and bobbed her head, pulling out the full diva.

"Mads, come on. I'm really tired and me and your mom have to work early tomorrow," Derek tried to persuade her, which use to work but now she knows she can play him.

"Please daddy," she pulled out the puppy dog eyes and raised her arms at him, Mer knew this one was going to work. He sighed and picked her up, she grinned and kissed his cheek.

Mer looked over at him, rolling her eyes as we got to the car. He put her in the car seat before getting in the front seat.

"Do you want to stop somewhere and get something to eat?" He asked, starting the engine as he backed out of the parking space.

"That sounds fine, I guess you can just stop and grab a pizza," She sighed, gazing out the window. She wanted that lawsuit, she had lost her back-up person that day and she didn't know if she was ever going to see her daughter again. She still had flashes at night occasionally, something that she should have talked to someone about. Her thoughts seemed to fade away as she stared into the night sky. She still had trouble with darkness but it was getting better.

"Mer, what do you want on the pizza?" Derek asked, causing Meredith to pull herself from her thoughts.

"Hmm?" She questioned.

"Pizza toppings?" He asked again.

"The usual," she sighed as she watched him climb out of the car. She found it odd her daughter wasn't talking up a storm like she usually did on the rides home. Meredith grazed back, noticing the sleeping toddler in the car seat. The wave of nausea came over her again, she felt like this time she was going to hurl. She searched her purse and the car for something to relieve it, suddenly came across the hard stripped candy as she popped it into her mouth. The peppermint coated her tongue and immediately made it go away.

"I can't be getting sick," she groaned quietly. She watched as Derek came back to the car, pizza box in hand. He handed her the box as he got into the car, putting his seat belt on.

"Are you ok?" Derek asked, noticing her pale color.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little nauseous," she assured him. He placed his hand on her knee, her palm covering his hand as they drove to their house in the woods.

"Do you want to carry her in or wake her up?" Mer asked, gripping the pizza box. She was hungry, the pizza smelled surprisingly mouthwatering.

"I'll carry her in and wake her up to see if she wants to eat," Derek climbed out of the car, taking the toddler from her car seat. Her arms reached around his neck and her head found his shoulder.

Mer grabbed the pizza box, climbing out the door and to the front door. She quickly unlocked the door, turning the light on as she got inside. She went to the kitchen, sitting the box down on the table as Derek came inside.

"Maddie, do you want to eat or just go to bed?" Derek asked her, still in his arms.

"I'm sleepy," she mumbled more but that was all you could make out of what she was saying.

"I'll go put her in the bed," Derek started up the stairs. Meredith grabbed down two plates, opening the box. The gooey cheese seemed to be calling her name, she grabbed a slice and took a bite.

"You look like you are enjoying that pizza," Derek sounded amused, staring at his wife. He removed the velcro straps attached to the cast on his arm, placing it on the counter top.

"I guess this is just something I was wanting," she giggled, causing him to smile. His wife's giggle seemed to always brighten the mood. He grabbed a slice also, taking a bite. He didn't see why Meredith enjoyed pizza so much, it was always so unhealthy and greasy. It reminded him of college, something he doesn't want to relive.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" She asked him, placing the crust of the first slice of pizza on the plate and grabbing another slice.

"I have a 10am lecture and then two skills labs with the residents," He watched her closely as she devoured the pizza.

"Lucky you, do you want me to take Maddie into daycare when I leave or will you? I have to be there at 8am," She sat the half-eaten slice on the plate, moving over to the stools to sit down.

"No, I'll take her but are you going to do what we talked about?" He asked, talking about the therapist he saw that helped him come to terms with his hand.

"No Derek, I told you I don't need a therapist. I am fine," She told him and everyone else the same thing over and over again. She didn't enjoy telling people about her problems, she had never had to before.

"Ok, I just thought it would help with the nightmares," He bit the tip of his tongue as the words left him mouth, regretting his actions immediately.

"They aren't nightmares, I don't have nightmares. I have bad dreams and they will go away soon enough. Everyone - almost everyone lived, I have no reason to see anyone now would you stop nagging me about it," She was getting angry, he always pushed her to see a therapist every since the accident happened.

"Mer, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again," He moved behind her stool, placing his hands on her shoulders and massaging slightly. She leaned against the back of the stool, her upper back laying against his chest.

"Maddie is asleep, and we are arguing. I don't think this is a good picture," She looked up at him, the soft look in his eyes turned to excitement and lust.

"I can think of something better to do," He smiled, she smiled also, biting her lower lip up at him. She stood up, he grabbed her back and pulled her against him.

"I like the way you think," Her hands went around his neck, pulling his lips down to meet hers. She let a giggle pass by her lips as he lifted her up, her legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her to the closest counter, sitting her down.

He ran his hand from around her waist, sliding his hands under the hem of her sweater, up her stomach to the lace bra she wore. He quickly removed the sweater, parting their lips for just a moment before his lips attached to hers again. Their close encounter was quickly interrupted by the sound of knocking on the door.

"What the hell was that," Meredith questioned, her arms still around Derek.

"I don't know, want me to go check?" He asked, looking at her. She shook her head no.

"If it was important, they would have called first," she started to kiss him again and the knock on the door came again, this time it was louder.

"Come on, I saw both cars and I know you are home," The voice called, it shocked both of them. Derek helped Meredith off the counter, she grabbed her sweater as Derek went to open the door.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned, looking at the petite figure standing on the front porch.

"I haven't seen you in two years and the best I get is what am I doing here?" She scoffed, bypassing Derek as she walked into the living room.

"Nice house, guessing I was interrupting whatever was going on between the two of you?" She looked between the messy curls on Derek's head and the heavy breathing coming from the both of them.

"Amy, What are you doing here?" Derek said again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, this update was suppose to come yesterday but I didn't get the chance to update before I left for the airport so here it is. This is just a little scratch on the surface on why Amelia is here. As the story unwinds, you will understand why I brought Amelia back besides the fact that she is one of my favorites. It also has a little flashback of the plane crash, which more of those will be coming sometime, also other flashbacks will occur of Cristina/Alex.**

** Thank you to those of you who reviewed, even if it's just two of you. I appreciate it so much! I also want to thank the people who followed/favorite my story! **

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"My big brother gets into a plane crash and I don't have the right to see him?" Amelia jokes.

"I am happy to see you Amy but just shocked. How have you been?" Derek asked, wanting to avoid the subject of the crash.

"Just saving lives, taking names, how have the both of you been?" She asked, sitting down on the couch.

"Dealing with life and Maddie. The last time I talked to Addie, she said you were dating someone," Derek did a partial smile, he didn't know how to react. He sat down, opposite of his sister.

"I'm just going to go check on Maddie so you two can talk," Meredith quickly slipped up the stairs.

"Why do you still talk to Addison?" Amelia questioned.

"Your avoiding," He observed, she changed positions as she seemed uncomfortable.

"So are you, I didn't come here to talk about James or Addie. Anyway, James and I aren't even dating, we went on one date and now Addie is pushing for another so let's drop it. I want to talk about my big brother and see how he's doing," She watched his eyes as they squinted. She couldn't tell him the real reason why she was here, not yet.

"Ah, so his name is James, have you talked to ma or anyone else?" Derek continued to avoid the main question. He knew his sister was hiding something, she always was.

"I talked to mom a few months ago when your accident first happened. Kathleen or Nancy hasn't spoken to me in at least five years, Lizzie and I text sometimes," Amelia remembered the exchange she had with Lizzie just the previous day. Everyone wanted to know why Derek hadn't tried to fix his hand.

"Ah, well good to know. Now what is the real reason why you are here," he didn't want to tip toe around the subject anymore.

"Why haven't you got your hand fixed," She got straight to it, she wasn't leaving until she got the truthful answer.

"We've tried everything," He looked down at his hand, the scars the lined his hand and wrist. The pain was there but he had gotten use to it, occasionally taking aspirin if it hurt to much.

"What is everything?" She didn't want to believe it but it seems he had given up to easily which was nothing like him.

"Tried surgery, didn't help, Physical therapy help a little but I will never regain full function, it's impossible," he flexed his hand, noticing the twitch when he releases the fist he made.

"What about a nerve allograft, to replace the damaged nerves with healthy new ones," She asked, going over the research she did in her head. She needed to be prepared, she knew her brother and he was not one to give up.

"There are no matches and I'm not asking for nerves from any one of you," He looked into Amelia's eyes. She had that determined look in them, one only she got when she truly believed in something.

"I can't donate nerve, but I'm sure maybe Lizzie or Kathleen would. From what I heard, Nance is still pissed you married the slutty intern, not that Meredith is slutty," she quickly corrected herself. She enjoyed Meredith, the few times they met she never really interfered or tried to get to know every personal details about her.

"No Amelia, don't go telling Liz or anyone that there is a possibility that they could help me because I'm fine with this, I've accepted this," He was adamant about her not telling anyone.

"Derek, come on," Amelia begged.

"No Amy, now that's final." He stood his ground, she groaned as this was getting her no where.

Meredith stood at the top of the stairs, listening in on the whole conversation that went on between them. Amelia was right, he should get this fixed because he's unhappy like this. He always pretended to be fine but she knew him, he loved surgery almost as much as he loved her and their daughter. She walked down the stairs, just as the argument was coming to an end.

"Hey, I'm going to go to bed. Amelia you are welcome to stay here tonight if you don't have a hotel," Meredith smiled at her, even if she hadn't really spent much time with all the sister's, Amelia was her favorite. She had a quality about her that none of the other sister's had. She always kept to herself, being as strong as she can.

"Thanks Meredith, I will probably take you up on that offer since I didn't book a hotel," Amelia smiled. Meredith nodded and made her way to the master bedroom, closing the door. The nausea suddenly came over her again, this time she couldn't keep the contents down as she rushed to the toilet to empty the pizza she had eaten earlier.

She quickly wiped her mouth with a tissue before standing up. She was extremely dizzy as she grabbed a wet cloth to place on her forehead. She had to work tomorrow, she couldn't be getting sick now. She flushed the toilet, splashing cold water on her face afterward. She brushed away the taste of vomit from her mouth, her stomach was empty but she still felt nauseous as she made her way to the bed. She removed the sweater and jeans she wore, climbing under the blankets.

Derek left his sister in the living room, going to his bedroom where Meredith had stripped down into her undergarments. Her face was pale and she looked as if she was going to puke all over the place.

"Are you alright?" He asked, sitting down beside her. She nodded, her eyelids seemed to weigh a ton suddenly.

"Why didn't you tell me about the nerve donation?" She asked weakly, she didn't have the energy all of the sudden to argue but she just wanted to know.

"Because I didn't want to give you false hope, now get some rest," He kissed her forehead as her eyes closed. He quickly removed his shirt and replaced his pants with pajamas. He grabbed the old blue shirt he slept in and climbed in next to Meredith.

She slowly turned to face him, kissing his cheek as she snuggled up against his side. His arms wrapped around her as she drifted off to sleep.

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_Meredith's eyes blinked open, she heard a faint cry. She quickly got up, looking around at her surroundings. The only thing on her mind was where her sister and husband were._

_"Lexie! Derek!" She called out, spinning. She saw Lexie stumbling out of the plane piece still in tact._

_"Lex! Where is Derek and Cristina and everyone else," She felt her breathing hitch as she saw everything as if it was all so real._

_"I d-don't know," she mumbled, a large gash in her head, her shoulder looked to be out of place._

_"We have to find him, and Mark, and Cristina," Meredith stumbled as she felt the twigs and leaves crunch under her feet._

_"What happened, where is Derek," She asked Lexie again, she looked to be processing everything._

_"He was sucked out the side when the plane it the trees," Lexie looked horrified, replaying the event in her head. Meredith felt her heart shatter into a million pieces._

_"Then the back of the plane came off, it just flew off," Lexie continued, she could remember it all clearly._

_"Alex was in the back of the plane," Meredith remembered, her stomach churned as the nauseating feeling came over her._

_"Where is that screaming coming from?" Lexie looked around, no one was around and the screaming was faint._

_"Derek!" Meredith cried out, she started looking around the woods, screaming his name like a mantra._

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"Meredith, I'm right here," Derek said, shaking her awake. He watched her eyes fling open, she had tears rushing down her face as she sat up. She didn't say a word, only wiped away the tears and looked into his eyes.

"I'm fine Derek, it was just a dream," She was trying to not only reassure Derek, but also herself. She still had that nauseating feeling, how could a dream feel so real.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, wanting to make sure she was completely alright. He hated seeing her so frantic and scared, it is like reliving that moment where she found him in the woods. She looked like she was completely and totally destroyed.

"Mhm," She swallowed, reaching over to her nightstand and flipping on the lamp. The light shined directly in her eyes, blinding her for a split second as her eyes adjusted to the light. She searched through the drawer, finding the peppermint candy. She quickly realized the peppermint wasn't going to help this time, quickly making her way to the bathroom.

She soon felt Derek take her hair and rubbing the small of her back. As she finished, she leaned back against the figure behind her. He had a wet cloth, dabbing her forehead and wiping the few tears that escaped as she was emptying her stomach.

"Do you think you ate something bad?" He questioned, worried she may have food poising.

"No, think it's just a stomach bug, Can you help me up?" She asked, he stood up and helped her up. She flushed away the contents before going to the sink, quickly splashing water on her face.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" He asked, wanting to be helpful. She just shook her head as she wet her toothbrush.

"Actually, could you get me something to keep by the bed?" She felt embarrassed asking for a puke bucket. He just gave her a slight smile before leaving toward the living room. She finished brushing the taste out of her mouth, thankful her toothpaste had a peppermint taste. She wiped her face and mouth, her legs felt weak. She took deep breaths, waiting for Derek to return and help her to the bed. She hadn't felt this helpless since she had a bad stomach bug a few years back.

Derek came back with a wastebasket that had a trash bag inside. He sat it beside her side of the bed, noticing she was still by the sink.

"Do you need anything?" He asked, walking toward her.

"Help me to the bed, I feel dizzy and I don't think my legs are strong enough for this," she quickly put her arms around him as he got to her. He helped her to the bed, sitting her down on the bed.

She felt like a child as he put the covers around her. He felt her head, assuring she didn't have a temperature before placing a kiss on her forehead, climbing over her on to his side of the bed.

"Want to leave the lamp on?" He asked, she nodded. He got under the blankets, watching her as she drifted to sleep. He couldn't help but worry and wonder if there is something more wrong with her, something she wasn't explaining to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys!**

**Sorry it took me longer than usual to update and it isn't as long as I wanted it to be, life has gotten to me and it was recently my birthday so I went on a trip with my family and didn't get the chance to write. So some interesting things are happening and I am just about to dive into the whole reason why Amelia is there. I am also going to tie up one of the mini plots within the next two chapters which have been half-way written so expect those within the next week or two, depending on how nice life decides to treat me. I want to thank each of you who do take your time to review and to clear a few things up, there will be an insight into Owen's dealing (****hence Amelia's appearance) and no, Arizona and Alex did NOT trade places so Alex was in the accident, he died along with Cristina.  
**

**Now enough of my rambling, here is the chapter!**

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Meredith slowly blinked awake, she smelled the aroma of bacon and eggs from the kitchen. She felt a lot better than last night, glad she hadn't thrown up again. She turned over and to her surprise, Derek was still in bed. She soon realized he wasn't cooking, she shot up. She hurried to the kitchen, soon to realize Amelia was cooking while Maddie was sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Mommy, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" She looked confused, Meredith realized she was only in undergarments and felt her cheeks turn crimson.

"Nice underwear choice Meredith," Amelia hid her giggle by taking a bite of cooked bacon.

"Sorry, I forgot you were here this morning and I don't even know. I'm just going to shut up now because I can feel myself start to ramble and I'm going to put clothes on now," she slowly backed up into the bedroom, closing the door. Derek was awake, he sat up with an amused look on his face.

"Did you forget to put clothes on?" He tried not to laugh at his absent mindedness of his wife but failed.

"Shut up," she couldn't help but giggle at herself, she grabbed a pillow and hit him with it.

"Hey!" He tried to be defensive but a few seconds and he was laughing along, pulling her down on to the bed, pinning her underneath him.

"You know, we were interrupted last night," his eyes glowed with lust as he stared at his half-naked wife. She looked absolutely beautiful. He couldn't resist himself any longer, his lips found hers in a deep, passionate kiss.

She felt his tongue sliding against her lips. She parted them, allowing his tongue to maneuver into her mouth. She felt it, the nausea hit again. She pulled away, his face filled with shock.

"Move," she instructed, he noticed the face she was making and got off her.

She grabbed a peppermint from the drawer, her last one. She made a mental note to pick some up from the store on her way to work, she popped the hard candy into her mouth, allowing the peppermint to soothe her stomach.

"Are you sure you can go to work today?" He asked, standing up off the bed.

"Yes Derek, I need to take a shower and you need to handle your sister," She stood up, placing a quick peck on his lips before going into the bathroom.

He watched, his eyes wondered to her ass as she swayed her hips. Every since she had Madelyn, her hips grew a tad wider which made her figure become fuller. He quickly got his mind off the dirty thoughts as he opened the door. He saw his sister and daughter eating together.

"Good morning daddy," Maddie said mid-chew.

"Maddie remember, finish chewing before you speak," he reminded her, going over to kiss the back of her head. He noticed the eggs, bacon, and waffles she had made. She was trying to suck up to him, she wanted something.

"I made breakfast, help yourself," Amelia noted, taking a sip of coffee.

"Thanks," he normally wouldn't eat any of the fattening food but he didn't feel like turning her down. He grabbed a plate and got reasonable potions of eat food group.

"So I talked to Lizzie," Amelia said as he took a bite of the bacon, it was cooked exactly how he liked it.

"Amy, I told you not to do that. What did you tell her," he sounded annoyed. That was the last thing he needed, all of his sisters pissed at him because he didn't ask for help.

"She is pissed you didn't call her, but she is still going to donate the nerve," Amelia said as if it was almost one word.

"What the hell Amy, I told you I didn't want to ask them for it. I will never hear the end of it now and I want you to call Lizzie back and tell her she doesn't have to," He insisted, no way in hell would he take something like that from them. He would never hear the end of it if it didn't work or if they were in too much pain.

"No Derek, she's flying here in two weeks when her kids go back to school and she doesn't have to constantly watch them," Amelia watched as he almost went insane. She wanted this for him, she couldn't let him say no.

"No, call her and undo this. I don't need any of your help so please tell me the real reason why you are here so you can fly back to your boyfriend and Addison," he was getting aggravated at her. He wasn't doing this, the surgery.

"Look Derek, I'm not calling her and you can get pissy all you want but I know you, you don't play second place or give up. You will thank me for this later," she picked up her plate and placed it in the sink, going upstairs so she could get clothes on before going to the hospital. She knew she could somehow find a way to get hospital privileges.

She looked down at her phone as she came into the guest room, he had two missed calls from Addie and one from James. She wanted to get away from them, that is why she took this trip. She told herself that she wasn't running because she wasn't, at least she didn't think she was running. She had just started dating James, nothing serious was going to happen but he asked her about the baby, her baby with Ryan.

* * *

"Daddy, why don't you want to get your hand fixed?" Maddie asked curiously. She watched her him closely, examining his actions.

"Well princess, if I get my hand fixed then I don't get to spend as much time with my favorite girls and that wouldn't be much fun," he tried to explain it in the best possible way.

"Well mommy said you is bestest at fixing brains and you haven't been acting youself. I don't like it when you is sad," she looked up at him, having the same sparkle in her eyes as her mother.

"I am not sad, I like spending time with you," he truly loved spending as much time with his daughter as humanly possible but she had a point. He did like fixing brains, he loved it.

"But you also like fixing brains and so you can have both. I can share my daddy so you can make people better like mommy," she finished the waffle she was eating as she tried to explain to him what was going through her mind.

"So you think I should do it?" He wanted his daughters honest opinion. To some people, she was just a three and a half year old kid who didn't understand much but most people underestimate her abilities. She had more focus and potential than most people he had ever met.

"I think you do what makes you happy," she finished the orange juice from the pink plastic cup.

"Morning," Meredith said as she came into the kitchen. She had already gotten dressed in a merlot colored sweater and jeans.

"Good morning mommy, Aunt Amelia is going to help daddy fix his hand," Madelyn smiled proudly.

"Oh she is?" Meredith looked shocked, looking over at Derek.

"It is still in the decision making stage," he corrected his daughter.

"Oh really, well I'm glad you are open to the idea. I liked it when your hand was fixed," Meredith smiled as she poured coffee into a travel mug. She loved Derek being home with Maddie since Meredith didn't really get to spend much time with her but now she is starting her fellowship, she will get a better schedule.

"Mhm, I think you better get going. You will be late, I can take Maddie in today or maybe she could spend some time with Amelia," Derek suggested just as Amelia was coming back downstairs.

"That's a great idea, put her in the black leggings with the cute polka dot shirt, I'll see you guys later," Meredith grabbed her bag, an apple, and kissed Derek and Maddie before quickly rushing out the door.

"What am I doing?" Amelia asked again, still unclear of what she was suppose to do.

"You are going to watch this princess while I work since you are obviously not working," Derek smirked mischievously, sliding off the chair before going to the bedroom to get dressed. He knew his sister was going to try and get in a surgery while she was here but he wasn't going to let her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys! Ok I know I said I was going to update sooner but I just couldn't bring myself to it, not after 11x21. I planned on posting this one last week but I moved and didn't have internet until today so here it is, the update. Regarding 11x21 events, there is no way that Derek will ever come near death in this fic. This part has a little bit of Owen &amp; Amelia in it so tell me if you like that! Merder will still be the main focus in this story. Happy Reading!**

* * *

Meredith walked down the corridors, passing the exam rooms as she reached the door that had 'Attending's Lounge' written by the door. She walked in, immediately sitting down on the sofa. She felt lightheaded again, having regrets of coming to work now. She wasn't a resident anymore, she could have taken the day off but she quickly changes her mind when she remembers the interns. They've only been here a month and they have caused so much havoc. The door opened, Meredith expected to see someone other than a woman who looked barely over 21 walk through the door.

"Meredith Grey?" the younger girl spoke, she nervously pushed a piece of the long brown hair behind her ear.

"Yes, is there something I could help you with?" Meredith asked, standing up. She no longer felt nauseated or lightheaded, something about the way something emergent coming up gets her to forget about the feelings.

"I'm Amber. Amber Karev, I came to pick up stuff for my brother," her eyes bloodshot, seeming as if she had just stopped crying. Meredith's heart broke again, knowing she would have to take this girl into the frat house to give her the rest of his things.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Meredith sighed, not knowing what else to say to her. The only thing she knew about this girl was she looked like Alex, she had his hair color but had the same color eyes as their brother, Aaron.

"Thanks, sorry about missing the last few times I was suppose to come, I just couldn't bring myself to believe he is really gone," she released a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears forming.

"I understand Amber," she nodded, they stood awkwardly. Meredith had no idea what to do, she felt terrible for the barely legal girl standing in front of her.

"How about I take you down to the cafeteria and we can grab you something to eat, the breakfast here is great," Meredith suggested, she knew that when she felt sad that food helped.

"Um, that sounds nice," Amber did her best to give a halfway smile but failed in the process. She didn't feel like declining the offer as she didn't want to be alone right now.

"Come with me," Meredith said, putting her hand on Amber's shoulder as she led her through the corridors. Something about this situation seemed so surreal. She wanted to be there to help this poor girl through her grieving, she was so young. The mother insistent in her was on overdrive, she felt something she can't explain.

"Can I ask you a question?" Amber spoke up as they reached the elevator.

"Of course," Meredith stated, hitting the first floor button as they stepped into the elevator, it was empty except for the two of them.

"Was he happy?" Amber always saw her brother in a single mood, it was always hidden by the blank face he put on the rare occasions she saw her brother.

"He was, he was very happy. He had just accepted a fellowship at the most prestigious ped's program in the country and that was all he could talk about," she remembered his excitement, of how he didn't believe they actually wanted him. He never truly believed in himself but he was one of the best of their intern class.

"I always knew my big brother was going to go somewhere in life," she had a relieved look on her face. She was glad someone other than her finally saw the best in her brother.

"He truly was an amazing person," Meredith suddenly felt her stomach flip as she stepped off the elevator and could smell the greasy cafeteria food. She took deep breaths, making sure not to spill her small breakfast all over Amber.

After silently going through the line, Meredith opting for just an apple while Amber chose a chicken biscuit. They went to sit down at an empty table, they ate quietly for a second, awkward silence around them.

"So I heard you just graduated college back in May, what was your major?" Meredith asked, taking a bite of her apple. Her stomach churned, she didn't feel like eating but she knew she had to.

"Psychology, more specifically Child Psychology. I am going back in a few weeks to start on my PhD," she answered slowly taking a sip of the coffee in front of her.

"That's interesting. What made you choose that?" Meredith was now interested.

"It was mainly because my childhood, kids need someone who they can trust to open up to and feel safe. I feel like I can help kids through things that I went through because I know what it's like," she flinched a little, her hand going to her upper abdomen.

"Are you alright?" Meredith asked, noticing her pain as she just nodded.

"It happens after I eat sometimes. It's not really a problem," she said, flinching again as she let out a gasp.

"That doesn't look like you are alright, I am a doctor after all," Meredith sounded concerned. Amber quickly shook her head digging through her purse.

"I just need an antacid, I've got really bad heartburn," she said, flinching as she moved slightly.

"Amber, do you have shoulder pain when you are hurting?" Meredith questioned, she felt something was wrong.

"Yeah, I just don't have the money to see a doctor with all my student loans. I am fine," Amber tried to assure Meredith as she swallowed two antacids.

"Amber, I can give you just a quick blood test just to make sure it's not an infection. It will be on me, I don't want you to be actually sick and you never know it," Meredith felt her motherly instinct kicking in, feeling the need to protect this young woman for Alex.

"I don't want to be a bother, it's really nothing," Amber tried to insist, suddenly she gasp as another spasm hit. She let out a small cry, the pain was extremely bad.

"Amber, come on we are going to run some test," Meredith helped the young woman up, letting her lean against Mer for support as they made their way to an exam room.

"As of right now, you are a patient of SGMW hospital, as your doctor I instruct you not to leave this bed until we figure out what is causing this," Meredith searched the room, looking for a lab kit.

"I am fine, I don't need all these test," Amber kept trying to insist on not having the test done.

"Amber, this is not trouble at all," Meredith answered, putting on gloves. She felt obligated to watch over Amber, even just for a little while. She quickly took blood from Amber's arm, leaving me her in the exam room to take the blood to the lab.

* * *

"I still can't believe you talked me into letting you do this," Derek groaned as he lead his sister into the research lab where Callie was waiting on them.

"It's because you love your little sister," Amelia smirked, going through the door first.

"So you are going to let me fix your hand?" Callie had a look of victory on her face, she had tried to convince him to do many surgeries on his hand but he always said they were to risky and he never wanted to involve his family, which confused her when he told her Amelia was coming to help.

"If you find something that will definitely let me have a real chance of me regaining most of the function then yes I will let you, I assumed you would need someone to help and Amelia may not be specialized in ortho but she does know a little bit and this will get her off my back," He smiled mischievously, leaving the room. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, a smile came across his face as he raced to the sender of the text.

He opened the door to the on-call room, Meredith sat on the bed with a smirk on her face. He sat down in front of her, no words spoken as he moved his lips to hers, caressing her cheek as his lips danced with hers.

"Alex's sister is here to get his stuff and she might need surgery," she said as she pulled away from his lips.

"I'm letting my sister work with Callie so she can get off my back," he confessed before going in for another kiss.

"That is so wrong," she had a slightly giggle to her words, kissing him back.

"How is that going, are you going to be able to fix your hand?" She asked as their lips separated. She wanted this to work, for him to be able to get his hand fixed and the whole plane crash be put behind them.

"I don't know," he said, leaning in to another kiss, one which she pulled back and looked at him with concern.

"Derek," she sighed, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"What?" he breathed out, closing his eyes for longer than just a blink before opening them again.

"You know I am all for the sex and the burying thing with it but this is your career," she said, causing him to let out a slight groan.

"I know Mer, just I don't want to talk about it right now," he said, looking up at her. He knew exactly how to make her say yes, the look.

She looked into his eyes, the look on his face was a mix between begging and being happy. His smile was soft as his eyes gleamed with hope.

"The look isn't going to work," she raised her eyebrow, her smile turned into a light giggle as his smile turned wider.

"Alright, you want to talk about?" he asked and she nodded. He didn't know how to tell his wife he was scared to get a surgery, something that could take away his complete hand function.

"I've always wanted to spend more time fishing, Maddie will get to use that fishing pole I got her for her birthday last year," he smiled, causing Meredith to giggle slightly as he went in for another kiss, this one she pulled away from.

"Derek," she said in a serious tone.

"There is absolutely no perfect solution that guarantee's my full hand function. Everything is just a maybe," he shrugged, her face soft as he let out a sigh.

"Derek, there is never any guarantee to anything, we just have to take a chance," she says softly, laying her forehead against his.

"You use to be so dark and twisty," he smiled, causing her to laugh as his lips met hers again. Their hands wandered over each other as their kiss got more intense. The moment interrupted by a pager that came through the small device hanging on the side of Meredith's pants.

"It's the lab, probably Amber's lab results," Meredith let out a sigh before kissing Derek one last time and quickly rushing out the door and down to the lab. She took the paper from the lab technician and scanned over it.

"Damn it," she said under her breath as she walked away. She realized nothing was really wrong except her white cell count was slightly off, which could be anything. She made her way to Amber's room where she was sitting on the bed, watching the television.

"That's not a good face," Amber said as Meredith walked through the door.

"Well there is nothing really bad with the blood test, everything seems normal except for your white cell count is a little off. I want to an upper abdominal ultrasound and maybe an abdominal CT because I want to make sure you are alright," Meredith said as she watched Amber just nod. It was obvious she didn't want to do this but Meredith just had a feeling.

Meredith got the ultrasound machine from one of the other exam rooms and explained to Amber what she was doing as she did it. She felt Amber slowly get comfortable with Meredith.

"That is it," Meredith sighed as she stared at the ultrasound machine. She shook her head as Amber's eyes got wide.

"What is it?" Amber tried to look at the screen but couldn't really read it.

"That right there is causing all your issues. Your gallbladder is severely inflamed," Meredith knew she had to do surgery on her, she didn't like the idea but it was for the best.

"Is that bad? It has to be bad with the way you are acting," Amber sighed. She didn't want to hear the next words that would come out of Meredith's mouth.

"I'm sorry Amber but you need surgery. My schedule is free and I will schedule it for in about four hours if that is ok with you, it will be a quick and easy procedure that will be done in about an hour and a half," Meredith then continued to explain the downsides but tried to stay positive for Amber.

"Do I have a choice?" Amber swallowed, she didn't want to have surgery but it was her only option it seemed like.

"Yes, you could just live with it but it only gets worse. You will have to have it taken out sooner or later, it will only cause problems for you."

"I guess I will have the surgery," Amber said with a sigh in her voice.

"I will go and schedule it, then send an intern in to help you get set up and everything," Meredith gave her a smile before leaving to go schedule her surgery. Before she got the chance to tell an intern to go help Amber, her pager began going off and she quickly rushed down to the ER.

* * *

Owen walked slowly through the corridors, somehow he was always reminded of Cristina, he saw the cutthroat attitude in one of the new interns, knowing he would turn out just like Cristina. He wandered mindlessly into one of the closest supply closets, a quiet place for him to grieve silently.

It had been only a few months since he lost her, if only he would have maybe got the message of their arrival a few hours earlier, they could have found them sooner and she wouldn't have died. He felt like it was his fault, he switched the plane companies because it was cheaper and that cost him the life of the woman he loved.

He wanted a drink right now, a good scotch or whiskey would be great if he wasn't on duty. He felt he wasn't alone anymore and he wasn't when he heard a quiet sniffle coming from behind one of the shelves.

"Hello?" He asked, searching where he found a figure on the floor, her dark hair was all around her face when she looked up at him, he saw the blue eyes from the small light that came from the light bulb across the small space.

"I'm sorry, I really shouldn't even be here," she cleared her throat, wiping her red eyes. She looked embarrassed and even felt it, she didn't cry in front of people.

"it's fine, I understand. Do you have a family member here as a patient?" He asked, reaching out his hand to help her up, she took his hand as she stood up.

"Not as a patient but family here, yes. My brother is a surgeon here, well was a surgeon. Now he just walks around with his 2 million dollar hand messed up and refuses to let me help him," she sounded slightly irritated, she was suppose to be watching her niece but needed to research different ways to fix his hand.

"You are Derek's sister?" he asked. He partially knew about his many sisters but had never gotten to meet any of them.

"Of course you know him, everyone knows him, Amelia Shepherd, neurosurgeon," she held out her hand, trying not to be awkward about this encounter, she still felt sad. She knew what she did was wrong and what was going to happen but she did it anyway.

"Owen Hunt, Chief of Surgery," he let a smile creep across his face as she rambled about her brother. He met her hand and they shook hands for a second before she pulled away and took a deep breath.

"So can I ask why you are in a supply closet?" he asked, trying to not intimidate her.

"I can ask you that same thing," she smirked at him, watching as his face turned amused. She was surely embarrassed, she made a fool out of herself in front of the Chief of Surgery.

"I ask first and this is my hospital," he corrected her, not knowing what it was about her.

"I was doing research for Derek's hand nerve graph that I am still talking him into getting fixed, then my mind wondered and I began searching the chances of having two babies with anencephaly, for a patient," she added, not wanting to talk about her problems. She knew he was probably not going to tell Derek about it or anything, at least he seemed to be the type of person to run his mouth, "Anyway it just got really depressing and so I just needed a quiet room but if you will excuse me I will leave now."

Before Owen even got to say anything to her, she was gone. It seemed odd, how he felt. He came in the closet sad and wanting quiet but it turned out that wasn't it. Being alone made it worse, made everything worse. It let his thoughts roam and he didn't need that. His pager suddenly filled the quiet air as he rushed down to the E.R.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, Getting this chapter up earlier than I thought I was going to. I just wanted to say a thank you to those of you who are liking this fic and encourage me to keep going.**

* * *

"Hey Hunt, where am I needed?" Meredith said breathlessly.

"I thought I told them to cancel the page? Anyway it was a false alarm, DOA," he said, signing off on one of the charts he had.

"Alright," Meredith sighed, leaving them to be, going to the nurses station where Webber and April where standing.

"Is there anything interesting today?" Meredith sighed, looking at April then to Richard.

"I have an endoscopy in thirty," Richard spoke up, sounding unenthused.

"I have a ten year old who broke his wrist rollerblading," April sighed, looking at the chart in her hands. Meredith let her eyes roll a bit as she watched Bailey approach the nurses station, having a heated discussion with Ben about their wedding.

"This disscusion is over. Well I love you too," she sighed before turning her head, "Red panties and a lace bra," she tried to say under her breath.

Meredith looked at April who almost burst into laughter at Richards reaction to the words coming out of her mouth.

"He want's to have a Christmas wedding, in a rustic mountain lodge with red ribbons and mistletoe and a tree with ornaments made out of our photos," she scoffed at the last part.

"Aw, that sounds beautiful!" April exclaimed.

"I think it's a little much," Meredith agreed with Miranda, she was never a fan of big weddings which was the reason her and Derek did the post-it.

"I think it sounds great," Richard said defensively.

"Well I think it's ridiculous. What kind of well-respected man cares this much about a wedding anyhow," she scowled, opening the chart she had sat down as she walked over.

"I did," Richard sounded offended.

"I already had the big wedding, the poofy dress and the ceremony. I'm not going to make all those people sit through another ceremony because what, I'll mean it this time?" Miranda scoffed, closing the chart and placing it with the other post-op charts.

"I remember, I was there with Adele," he said fondly.

April began talking about the type of wedding she wanted to have, with butterflies and fields of flowers.

"I almost had the church wedding, then the Izzie thing happened so we decided to just find another time to get married," Meredith remembered the wedding dresses she tried on, the church they were in, the look on her best friend's face when he saw Izzie walk down the isle.

"Well he put a deposit down on this mountain lodge but he has until the twelfth to get his deposit back and he better to do, that is two days," she rolled her eyes as she took another chart and walked off.

"A man that puts a deposit down is a man who means business!" Richard called after her, she just shook her head and kept walking.

"Wait, today is the tenth?" both Meredith and April said, a nurse then confirmed the date.

"Shit," Meredith muttered, looking over to where April was previously but has now vanished. Meredith furrowed her eyebrows, going to the medical supply closet. She searched through but heard some breathing heavily.

"Hello?" Meredith said and was taken by surprise when she saw what was going on in the back corner of the room. She turned her head, quickly to make sure she didn't see anything.

"Oh my god Mer, we're sorry!" Lexie said, frantically trying to put her scrub top back on her body.

"There are on-call rooms for that!" she quickly grabbed what she was looking for off the shelf, making sure neither of them saw what she grabbed.

"They were all taken and I have to get back to Callie soon," Mark said defensively.

"I don't care, just make sure I never see that again," she said as she hurried out of the closet and to the closest bathroom. Her heart was racing, she couldn't believe this was happening. She had done this so many times, always it would be the exact opposite of what she ever wanted. The one time she didn't expect anything like this to happen.

Her hands shakily sat down the box, placing the used stick on top of it. So many things going through her mind as she waited for something she wasn't sure if she wanted it to be positive or negative. If it was negative, she wouldn't be as dissapointed as all the times previous, each time she had one of those sticks in her hand was a time her hopes got crushed little by little.

The time came, she looked at her phone as five minutes had passed. She took a deep breath as she picked up the stick, her life seemed to flip upside down in a matter of minutes, who ever knew that two little pink lines could have such a huge impact on her life.

"I'm pregnant," she mumbled to herself in disbelief. She was already on edge, dealing with Madelyn and didn't know how she could handle another baby.

_"You'd be good, you'd be a good mom," _She heard Alex's voice ring through her brain. He said that right when they first started trying to have a baby, right before she got pregnant with Madelyn. She remember's the little things about them, how Alex always had her back except the Alzheimer's trial which she forgave him for eventually. She remembered how Cristina was such an amazing godmother to Maddie, how this new baby will never get to meet Cristina.

All of her thoughts seemed to fade away when her pager started beeping. She gathered herself, throwing away the home pregnancy test before going to wash her hands, rushing out the door.

"You paged?" She asked, coming into the room. Amber seemed extremely nervous.

"I'm scared," Amber admitted, hugging her self.

"Amber, it's ok to be scared. You are about to have surgery. Is there anything I could do to calm your nerves?" Meredith asked, gently rubbing Amber's shoulder. She shook her head, looking up at Meredith.

"When our parent's were fighting, Alex always use to braid my hair and Aaron would play his guitar loud enough so I couldn't hear them, could I have another blanket please?" She asked, her eyes were full of sadness. Meredith felt like she was about to cry, she just nodded and walked out of the room. She put on a smile, hoping the nurses wouldn't see she was about to burst into tears.

"Jacks-SORRY, thought you were Jackson," April said as Meredith came into the supply closet.

"You two having a sex date?" she joked, grabbing a blanket off the shelf.

"No, not everything is about sex," April sighed, she looked upset and Meredith turned and looked at her. She could tell something was wrong, she couldn't decide if she wanted to ask or not.

"You ok?" she decided to ask. April sighed, looking at her.

'Yes... No," She shook her head. She looked exactly how Meredith felt.

"April..." Meredith took a step toward April, suddenly feeling worried.

"I had a plan, I was going to be married, I would have a husband. Our wedding would have the mints because we were meant to be," April let out a slight chuckle before continuing.

"We would be committed, I would tell my husband I was pregnant by giving him a t-shirt that said 'World's Greatest Dad' and now look at me," she was in tears, something Meredith should be doing. She remembered how this baby, this baby she was pregnant with wasn't planned at all.

"You're pregnant?" Meredith asked, she resisted the urge to place her own hand across the undeveloped bump.

"I think so, I don't know," she said, letting out a deep breath.

"Plans never work out like they were suppose to, especially with babies," Meredith felt a smile creep upon her face.

"You try and try to get pregnant but you can't then when you least expect it, a baby comes along probably because it wasn't planned, plans don't mean anything," Meredith smiled, realizing what she was saying. Maddie wasn't planned and she is like a little miracle, so is the baby she was carrying.

They had tried just after Maddie turned two for another baby, she was ready for one. They tried and tried, every month she peed on that white stick that would always come out negative. When she finally decided to see a doctor about it, they told her it would be a miracle for her to become pregnant again.

"Hey," Jackson said as he stepped into the room.

"I was just leaving," Meredith gave April a friendly smile before leaving the room. She gave her stomach a slight rub, knowing she was going to have to call and get an OB appointment soon. Something gave her a confidence boost, she didn't know what it was but she had her head held high as she walked back towards Amber's room.

Her phone began to ring, she looked in to her pocket. A part of her had a sigh of relief when it was only the daycare as she answered it.

"Hello?" she said in a cheerful voice, one she always used when talking to the people from the daycare.

"Hi Dr. Grey, this is Kate from the daycare," the woman said, her tone matching Meredith's.

"Is there something wrong?" Meredith asked, stopping at the door which lead into Amber's room.

"I know this is not a good time probably but a few minutes ago, Maddie was playing then she started crying and she won't calm down. I was hoping you could come down and see if you could get her to calm down," She said calmly, trying to not worry Meredith.

"Well did she get hurt?" Meredith started to worry, Maddie wasn't one to cry unless she was hurt.

"No, she was playing with the blocks and counting them and separating them like she always does before building them and one of the kids came over and took one of the blocks from her pile and she just started crying," Kate sounded honest.

"Well I am going to drop something off with a patient then I will be right down," Meredith sighed before hanging up the phone. She had no idea what could have went wrong, she never had any problems like that before.

"Here is the blanket you asked for, made sure to grab the softest one," Meredith had a smile on her face. Even if she was worried about her daughter, she had to stay happy for the patients.

"Thank you," Amber said as she unfolded the blanket.

"Your welcome, now I have to go down to check on something real quick and have one of the interns come a prep you before we take you back," She gave a friendly smile to Amber before leaving. So many thoughts going through her mind of what could be wrong. She thought that it could be she was tired or maybe the kid did something that caused her to be like that.

As she walked into the daycare, her eyes met with her tiny daughter. She looked so innocent, her eyes red from the tears. She looked like she had calmed down a little bit but she saw the hurt in her daughter's eyes.

"Hey Maddie," Meredith smiled as she squatted down, getting at her daughter's level. Maddie got up, putting her juice on the table before going to wrap her arms around her mother's neck. Meredith felt a little cry escape Maddie as she held on to her.

"Do you want to tell me what is wrong?" She asked softly, running her hand over her daughter's long hair. She felt her head shake no as she squeezed tighter.

"Do you want to go home?" she asked and Maddie pulled away slightly, looking at her mother's eyes. Meredith felt her heart break a little inside when she nodded.

"Well how about we go sign you out, you help me finish up on my rounds and help me convince Dr. Bailey to take one of my surgeries?" She watched the little girl's eyes light up as she let a little smile slip.

"Mommy, I don't feel good," she said in her little voice, seeming like she was really hurt.

'What hurts baby girl?" she asked concerned. She pointed to her head right above her eye.

"Did you get hit there?" Meredith examined the spot before she shook her head no.

"I don't feel good," she said with a sniffle before she sneezed into her arm like Meredith taught her.

"I think I know what is," Meredith remembered about this time last year, she would start getting a runny nose and sneezing. Meredith lifted the little girl, sitting her on her hip. Maddie laid her head against her mother's shoulder, her sniffles quieted as Meredith used her free hand to grab Maddie's backpack before signing her out and going straight to the ped's ward.

She cringed walking in, she knew Alex wouldn't be there. She tried her best to avoid the pediatric ward but she needed to find some allergy medication alright for Maddie.

"Hey Meredith, do you need help with anything?" Arizona smiled, her usual smiley self.

"Um do you think they have like allergy medicine safe for Maddie?" She asked, knowing it had to be somewhere.

"There is probably some in thePHARMACY, do you want me to go get you some?" Arizona asked sweetly.

"Please," Meredith offered a smile, going to sit down on one of the chairs at the nurses station. Maddie snuggled closer to her mother, Meredith knew that Maddie wasn't feeling well.

"You want to tell me how daycare was?" Meredith asked, trying to get her daughter to talk to her.

"I napped den played blocks," Maddie said, pulling her head off Meredith's shoulder. She then started talking about everything she built with the blocks. Meredith listen carefully to her daughter, she saw her eyes looked slightly irritated. She knew that it was only allergies and needed to pick up some medicine while she was getting peppermints.

Arizona came out, a small cup that had a small, purple dissolvable tablet inside.

"Hey Maddie, this is for you to help you feel better," Arizona said holding out the cup that contained the medicine.

"Is it yucky?" She looked at Arizona then back at her mother.

"No, it taste like grapes," Arizona assured the little girl. Maddie was hesitant at first before taking the tablet in her hand.

"Now put it on your tongue and soon it will be all gone, don't swallow it thought you have to let it melt," Arizona instructed the little girl. Maddie did as she was told, holding it on her tongue until it was dissolved.

THANK you Arizona," Meredith smiled, she and Arizona never really had a true friendship but she was grateful for helping turn Alex's life around. Arizona walked off, as Meredith stood up and put Maddie back on her hip.

"Let's go find Dr. Bailey and you have to help me convince her to do my patient surgery," Meredith said to her daughter, Maddie nodded. They left the peds ward, going on a search for Dr. Bailey, finding her in the attending's lounge.

"Dr. Bailey, I need your help," Meredith started as soon as she walked in.

"Uh-uh, nope. Whatever it is, it's a no," she shook her head, eating the fruit cup as her feet were kicked up.

PLEASE, Maddie is sick and I need to take her home and I have a choly in half an hour," Meredith plead, setting Maddie down and she walked over to the couch and sat down. She gave Bailey the puppy dog eyes, looking almost exactly like Meredith with the sparkle in her eye.

"Fine, who's the patient?" Bailey said, giving in. She threw away the empty fruit cup and put her lab coat back on.

"Amber Karev, she is suppose to be getting prepped right now for a laparoscopic choly, her chart is at the nurses station, no allergies and looks like she should handle it perfectly fine," Meredith said, taking off her lab coat and placing it on the coat rack.

"Amber Karev is here?" Miranda said as she swallowed hard.

"Yes, I'll go with you to introduce you guys. She is a really sweet girl," Meredith smiled, taking her regular clothing from a small cubby before going into the bathroom to change quickly. She came out, Bailey was putting her lab coat back on and Maddie was just sitting patiently.

"Come on princess," Meredith said, taking her daughters hand. She guided her and Bailey to Amber's room which had one of the interns getting her peeped for surgery.

"Hi Meredith," Amber said with a nervous smile on her face.

"Amber, this is Dr. Bailey. She was my teacher and this is my daughter Maddie," Meredith said, lifting the tiny girl up and putting her on her hip.

"Nice to meet both of you, I'm Amber, I am guessing you know my brother," Amber said, hurt on her face.

"Yes, I am so sorry for your loss," Miranda said sincerely.

"Thanks," Amber smiled awkwardly.

"Mommy, is that Uncle Alec sissy?" Maddie whispered in her mother's ear.

"Yes princess, Amber I wanted you to meet Bailey because she will be performing your surgery instead of me because this little one decided she wanted to get sick," Meredith smiled at the little girl in her arms. Amber just nodded, Meredith said her goodbye's before leaving and sending a quick text to Derek as she walked down the hall to inform him of the situation.

* * *

"What do you got?" Derek said, coming into the room. His sister and Callie both looking through paper's.

"I've been reading up on some radial nerve transfer's," Amelia said, showing him the paper's of research. He grabbed the paper's, looking through the studies. He didn't see the point in all of this, but he had to for Meredith. She wanted this for him, a part of him wanted it also but the chance that it worked was so slight.

"Isn't Mark suppose to be here, helping you both?" He questioned, since this is considered both plastics and orthopedics.

"Mark is taking care of some personal issues to take care of," Amelia informed him.

"He's giving Julia back her stuff," Callie corrected her.

"Ah, so tell me more about this, how are we going to do it?" He questioned, handing the paper's back to Amelia.

"We are going to go in through Lizzie's calf, then take about 1.5-2cm of the nerve, then go to yours to replace the unresponsive nerves with the ones we resected from Lizzie," Amelia said, pulling the representation on the projector.

"Ok 'we' aren't doing anything, Mark and Callie are going to do it," Derek corrected her.

"Yes, we are. Ok anyway Mark will probably be resecting the nerve, then I will replace form the PT to the ECRB," Callie said, watching as Derek just nodded his head.

'Ok, well you guys we can talk more about this tomorrow. I've had a long day and Meredith took Maddie home because she wasn't feeling well and I kind of want to be home before she goes to bed. We will talk more in the morning, Amy are you coming?" Derek asked, watching his sister shake her head.

"I'm going to stick here and do more research. I'll find a way there or maybe just sleep in an on-call room," Amy assured him. She didn't want to go back to the house for him to banter anymore about her problems, she needed to figure out her problems before worrying any more about them.

"Alright, if you need me to come and get you then you know my number," Derek said, earning an eye roll from Amelia. Amelia hated when he tried to big brother her.

* * *

"Mommy, why is we going to Target?" the little girl asked as Meredith pulled into the parking lot of the Super Target. Meredith hated going shopping but there were things she needed.

"Because I need to pick up a few things and you little miss have to pick something out for dinner and mommy needs to get some vitamins," she said, pulling into the closest parking place. She got out of the car,OPENING the back door to let Maddie out.

"Why?" she asked as she grabbed her mother's hand. She skipped across the parking lots as Meredith walked a little fast to keep up with the skipping.

"I need something called folic acid, it helps with mommy's tummy aches," she replied as they got to the doors, grabbing one of the shopping carts and helping Maddie get in the cart.

"Oh, can I have mac cheese for dinner? The fishy shaped kind?" she kicked her legs slightly as they hung from the cart, Meredith grabbed the peppermint from the candy isle first.

"We have to make sure they have some first," she smiled as she walked by the kids clothing isle. She saw a pink shirt with writing on it, perfect for what she wanted as she put it into the cart.

"Who is the shirt for?" she looked up curiously at her mother.

"It's for a surprise for daddy," she smiled, thinking about what April said earlier. She knew exactly what she was going to use that shirt for.

"Why is you gettin daddy a pink shirt?" she furrowed her eyebrows, just as he did when he was confused.

"Because it's for a surprise, we got to keep it a secret," Meredith tried to explain to her daughter without telling her, not yet. She placed the shirt in the shopping cart then made her way to the food isle. Maddie kept talking, asking questions. Meredith answered every single one of the silly questions as she reached the children's medicine isle. She collected the medication that helped Maddie the best before getting the prenatal vitamins and the Mac-n-cheese.

* * *

"You will not believe the day I had," Derek sighed, coming into his house. He took his coat off along with sitting his briefcase on the bar stool. He was exhausted and just ready to dive right into bed.

"That's great, um me and Maddie had mac-n-chesse for dinner. You can grab some if you want but um first look at the shirt I bought her in the bag on the counter," She pointed out, she was extremely nervous.

"Oh Meredith, guy's don't get all goo-goo over baby clothes," her sighed, going over to the bag.

"Just look at it," she instructed him. Her hands became more restless as he reached his hand toward the bag.

"Hm, what is this," her grabbed the pink shirt out, looking at the writing on it. He didn't know what to think at first, but then it clicked. He felt this relief come over him as he held up the shirt, feeling as if he was going to scream like a little girl, jumping up and down from excitement. He watched Meredith stand up, she had a goofy grin on her face. He knew she was happy about this.

"It's only four weeks," She said cautiously. She was worried but a part of her wanted her to be happy. She was going to have another baby, they were going to have another baby.

"I shouldn't be telling you this, my uterus is still very unstable and anything can happy. Crappy things happen to us all the time which is why I haven't told anyone, I haven't even told Lexie," She kept stuttering as the words left her mouth. In this moment, she wasn't the girl who lost her person and best friend in a plane crash, she wasn't the girl who was constantly making mistakes, she was someone's mother again, for the second time.

"So, if you tell anyone I swear, I will kick you out of this amazing house that you built us," She watched Derek just roll his eyes, walking toward her.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone and good thing's happen to us," he reached out, caressing her cheek. He was so excited, he was going to be a dad for the second time.

"We're gonna have another baby," the smile on his face got wider, he leaned down and kissed Meredith, running one hand through her hair before pulling her into an embrace. She giggled, pulling away as he tried to squeeze tightly.

"We are going to have another baby," She smiled, standing on her tip toes as she leaned in for another kiss. He lifted her up,spinning her around as she let out a burst of giggles. She was happy, truly happy, she never thought this was going to happen again, this was truly their miracle child.

* * *

**Guys, I know most of you guessed it already but yes there is a McBaby on the way. Lot's of baby fluff we didn't get to see with baby Bailey or Ellis. Some more insight into Amelia's situation will be in the next chapter, I don't plan on her ever having an exit on my fic because Amelia is one of my favorites. Thank you for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, so here it is. This chapter isn't as long as I expected it to be but here it is, as promised some answers from Amelia. This is actually basically an Amelia-centric chapter but also has Meredith in it, a relationship is made in this chapter and it just makes me happy. I hope you all enjoy it and thank you to those of you who commented on my last chapter, it just fills my heart and makes me want to write even more when people say they enjoy my writing!**

* * *

Meredith yawned, walking around the hospital. Her day wasn't suppose to be like this, she was suppose to get off and spend the day with her daughter and husband but instead she got talked into taking Miranda's on-call so she could go visit Ben.

She felt her stomach growl, her hand moved to her unformed bump. Anytime she was hungry, it was always at night and hospital cafeteria food don't sound appealing at all. She reached into her pocket, taking her phone and looking through her contact list. She slipped into an exam room, she assumed it was empty but by the annoyed sound coming from the curtain, she knew she wasn't.

She wanted to just leave, she was going to leave, until the voice that came from behind the curtain spoke and she couldn't.

"Damn it," the female voice said, Meredith heard an ultrasound machine as she suddenly found herself pulling back the curtain.

"Meredith," the woman said, she sounded horrified and scared all at once.

"Amelia?" Meredith questioned, she noticed her shirt was pulled up and the sticky substance was spread across the bottom of her abdomen.

"I can explain," Amelia started, placing the transducer probe back on the cart.

"No need to, just um... I know this is strange but it just looks like you could use some help," Meredith offered. She knew what was happening with Amelia and she wanted to help.

"I liked you better when you were the distant sister-in-law but if you could please, I just can't do it myself," Amelia said, Meredith realized she was shaken. Meredith just nodded, washing her hands and sitting on the rolling stool.

Silence filled the room as Meredith started the ultrasound. Meredith felt a connection forming with Amelia, she glanced over to notice Amelia wasn't looking at the screen. She wanted to ask, but she couldn't. Meredith's eyes began to mist as the image appeared on the screen.

"Um, you can look if you want. You seem pretty far alo-"

"13 weeks," Amelia cleared her throat, her face still turned away from the screen.

"There's a strong heartbeat, how long have you known?" Meredith asked, she wanted to know more, anything.

"For a while, I just wasn't strong enough to get an ultrasound, is it healthy?" Amelia asked, still keeping her gaze far from the screen. Meredith felt her heart sink, she didn't know the situation at all but she felt for Amelia.

"It is, the arms and legs seem to be developing, the heartbeat is strong, looks perfectly healthy to me," Meredith said, she watched Amelia's face as she turned slightly. Amelia's eyes filled with tears as she looked at the screen, Meredith saw her relax the slightest bit.

"Is this... I mean is this why you came here?" Meredith asked, regretting it as soon as she asked.

"Yeah, just let's drop it. Please don't tell anyone, not yet," Amelia begged, asking Meredith as not only a friend, but as a sister.

"Not my place to tell anyone, my lips are sealed," Meredith replied,she had so many questions but she could bombard Amelia with them.

"Can I tell you something?" Amelia asked, grabbing the towel from the counter and wiping off her abdomen.

"Sure," Meredith said, putting away the ultrasound machine.

"A few years ago, when I had my slip up, I got pregnant and that baby was what helped me stay clean and when I found out, I was already nearly twenty weeks and when they did the ultrasound, it showed that he had anencephaly so when he was born, I donated his organs," Amelia explained, her eyes watered as she told it.

Meredith felt her heart drop, she had no idea Amelia went through anything like that. Memories resurfaced as she heard the story and she felt tears escape her eyes.

"I um, didn't know," Meredith said, wiping her eyes, "Well before the plane crash, I was pregnant. When we were rescued, I wasn't anymore," She gulped, she hadn't told anyone that. She didn't tell Derek because he would have felt terrible, she wasn't even that far along.

"Meredith," Amelia suddenly felt sad again, she could have had another niece or nephew.

"It's ok because well, I am pregnant," Meredith said with a smile, she was going to take care of this little baby inside her uterus.

"Really?" Amelia scoffed, she felt happy for the first time in a long time.

"Yeah, you are one of the first to know. I am only 5 weeks so don't tell anyone," Meredith said, she felt close to Amelia. It was different, she only ever shared these kinds of moments with very few people, two of which have died.

"Not my place, so um thanks," Amelia said, standing up. She knew she was now going to have to tell her baby's father.

"No problem, if you ever need anything just tell me," Meredith said with a smile before leaving the room. She felt oddly satisfied as she walked down the hallways.

* * *

Amelia knew she was going to have to confront her baby's father sooner or later, just never knew how soon though. She didn't even know if she wanted to keep the baby but the father had a right to know.

Her mind fell back to that night, 13 weeks ago. Her stomach churned as the memories flooded her brain.

_She wasn't drunk that night, she didn't even know why she walked into the bar, maybe it was because she knew her big brother had almost died just the day before. All she knew was she wanted someone to forget her worries with._

_For whatever reason, she found herself oddly attracted to the guy sitting by himself, the table filled with empty shot glasses and he looked completely wasted. She knew it would have been easy to get with him, maybe that is why she picked him specifically, he wouldn't remember her face._

_"Looks like you could use a hand," Amelia said in her charming voice. The guy's drunken gaze found Amelia as she was talking to him._

_"No thanks," he said, he sounded sad like he had just gotten bad news also. Amelia didn't care, she wanted to forget her problems and now she was determined._

_"I think you need a ride home, I don't want you hurting yourself," Amelia offered a helping hand, he kept trying to reject her and she was not taking no for an answer._

_"You don't even know me," he slurred his words to her._

_"But you seem like a nice guy, it's no trouble at all for me to just drive and drop you off at your place," Amelia was persistent until he finally agreed. She felt a victory in her corner as she helped him from the chair and out the door._

_She helped the drunken man into her rental car, driving him to the address on his license she managed to get from his wallet. She pulled up to an old-brick building, he looked her in the eye._

_"Thanks for the ride," he slurred, his eyes still locked on to hers. She couldn't hold it anymore, grabbing his face and pulling it to hers. She realized he wasn't fighting her, in fact he was pulling her farther into it. Somehow she ended up getting out of the car with him, managing to stumble up the stairs and into his house._

* * *

"Hey Derek," Meredith smiled as she answered the phone.

"Hey Mer, just wanted to call and tell you I love you and I hope the little miracle is treating you alright," Derek said, Meredith could tell he was smiling the goofy smile he always had when he would think or talk about the kids.

"Yeah, just a little hungry. Make sure you save me some dinner," she said, feeling her stomach growl.

"Is that mommy?" Meredith heard the little voice in the background and she heard Derek answer her yes.

"Can I talk to mommy?" She said with an innocent tone. Meredith heard Derek hand the phone over to the little girl.

"Hi princess," Meredith said sweetly through the phone.

"Hi mommy, when is you comin home?" Maddie asked sweetly which turned into a yawn.

"I can't make it home tonight, mommy has to do some stuff for Dr. Bailey but I promise tomorrow, we are going to have lots of fun," Meredith promised her daughter a lot, she kept them most of the time but sometimes she couldn't and when she couldn't, she felt like a horrible mother.

"Ok," the little girl said with a sigh. Meredith felt her heart sink when she heard the sigh come from her daughter. A loud beep started buzzing in her pocket and Meredith groaned silently.

"Maddie honey, mommy has to go. Good night lovebug, sleep tight, make sure you give daddy a kiss from me," Meredith then made a kiss noise before hanging up the phone. She felt terrible as she made her way to the room in which she was getting paged to.

* * *

"Hey," Amelia said as she finally found the man she was looking for.

"Amelia, I'm a littleBUSY, can it wait?" He said, he seemed preoccupied as he looked between the phone in his hands and her.

"It's important," she said, grabbing his arm as she drug him to an empty room.

"Amelia, what's this about?" He questioned.

"13 weeks ago, I came to Seattle to see Derek and instead I went to a bar, saw a guy, and slept with that guy," Amelia sighed. She couldn't believe she was about to say this.

"I don't see what this has to do with me," he questioned her intentions.

"You were the guy, I am pregnant Owen and you are the father."

Owen stopped what he was doing, shocked at the words coming from Amelia.

"What?" He scoffed, thinking it was some kind of prank.

"Owen, I am pregnant and you are the father and don't think this means that you have to be a father to the child. I am telling you because you have a right to know, not because I want to force you into anything," Amelia wanted to make it clear she didn't expect Owen to drop everything and become a father but she wanted him to know.

"I don't understand. I thought we just met days ago," he was confused completely. He stared at her trying to remember that night but his mind was drawing a blank.

"No Owen, as I said, 13 weeks ago I came right after the plane crash but I couldn't face my brother, he was still unconscious. I decided to go get my mind off of it so I walked into Joe's and there you where. You were drunk out of your mind and I was hurting," Amelia felt ashamed she did that. She wasn't thinking straight, she didn't know she could even get pregnant since she was on birth control.

"Amelia I just... you have to give me some time to think about this," he was baffled by this new discovery. He had always wanted kids but not like this.

"Just so you know, I'm not leaving. So if you do decide you want to be a part of this child's life then you know where you can find me," she said before walking off. She felt the small weight lift off her shoulder, a small part of her wanted Owen to say he doesn't want this kid but she saw his reaction and knew he would come around. She was scared, she said she didn't want kids after her son but since she saw the ultrasound and knew everything was going to be alright, that made her fall in love with the baby inside her.

* * *

**Just a small authors note that may clear up some confusion.  
After the accident, Amelia heard and she took the first flight to Seattle but being the person Amelia is, she couldn't bring herself to walk into the hospital so she stood outside until she noticed the bar across the street. She is an addict so she knew herself couldn't drink and so that is where she met a man, Owen, and had a one-night stand. The rest will be explained another time ;)  
****Feel free to message me at all if you have any confusion, I will gladly try and help you without giving any spoilers out ;)  
Thank you again for reading my story &amp; Leaving all the sweet comments. It really means so so much when you do that. Hope you all have a wonderful day!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN; Hello to those who are still with me! Getting this chapter up finally after months.I am so sorry I've been gone for so long, I had classes and so much on my plate, I couldn't even think about writing. I am posting this chapter to let you know also that this story is going to be on a very short, temporary hiatus. I am planning to continue this story in the New Year. I started a new story to kind of give my mind a break from this and give you guys something from me while this story is in hiatus. See you guys in 2016!**

* * *

Derek rolled over, waking up to the sweet snores of the woman laying next to him. He couldn't help but stare at her sleeping figure, the way her skin glowed in the early morning light. He couldn't tell if it was the fact that she was pregnant or it was just how beautiful she had became since the first time he woke up next to her.

He knew she didn't get home until past midnight so he got up, cutting his alarm off to insure it wouldn't wake her. He silently got off the bed, going to the bathroom and closing the door. The first thing he did every morning was brush his teeth before he ran his hand the newly-grown five o'clock shadow.

"You have to shave that," Meredith said sleepily, she leaned against the bathroom door frame.

"Good morning to you too," he smirked at her, shaking his head slightly.

"It could be a really great morning,"she said seductively, walking toward him. He smirked as he turned as she came into his embrace. His arms warped tightly around her as he leaned down. Their lips meet, a soft yet passionate exchange between them happens. Breathlessly, Derek pulls away slightly just enough to look into her eyes.

"Peppermint," he mumbled, his tongue left with the peppermint taste from her lips.

"Mhm, now we have a little bit of time before Maddie wakes up," she pulls away from his embrace, taking his hand as she leads him back into their bedroom.

"Let's use this time wisely," He raises his eyebrow, wrapping his arms around her waist as he lifts her up gently. A giggle erupts from her lips as her back meets the silky sheets.

He tries to stay calm as he removes the thin shirt from her body, his hands travel across her abdomen and upward. His hands cup her breast as his lips find hers once again.

Her hands fling around his neck, her fingers dig through the thick curls as she pulls herself against him.

"Mer," his low groan coming from his lips as they travel down, her hands fumble through his curls as he places delicate kisses down her neck. His lips pass between the creases of her breast and trail down her abdomen, nipping slightly at her skin.

"Oh my god Derek," she gasps as his lips reach her waist-line, she tightens her grip on his hair as he slides his fingers in the waistband of the pajama pants and pulls them down in one swift movement. Her hips buck forward as his lips lightly brush against her center.

Derek grabs her hips, pushing them down against the bed. He hears the tiny moans escape her lips as he buries two fingers into her core. A sly grin across his face as he looks up at her, her teeth sinking into her lower lip and her eyes closed tightly.

She manages to get a hold of herself, releasing his hair from her grasp as she grabs his shoulders and pulls him upward. Her lips find his as she manages to flip them, her hips land on top of his. Passion and determination flow through her as she manages to pull her lips from his and slowly move down his body. Her hands slide against his chest and abdomen before they reach the waistband of his pants.

She releases his fully-grown erection from his pants as they slide down his thighs and to his feet where he gladly kicks them off. Her hand grasp his manhood, gliding up and down his shaft. She smirks when she hears him release a groan.

He finally gets back to reality when he feels himself tense up, he grabs her and slams her against the bed. He positions himself between her legs and plunges into her. They each get lost in the moment, in each other. The sound of their moans fill the air and within a blink of an eye, each of them reach their orgasm.

He collapsed next to her, their breathing equally heavy as they manage to settle into reality again. It seems like it had been so long since they have been able to loose themselves in each other, even if it had only been a few weeks.

"Wanna go again?" He looks over at her, his eyebrows raised as he is ready to go at it again. Suddenly the moment is ruined when a tiny knock is heard on the door.

"I guess not," Meredith giggles slightly, reaching for her ragged t-shirt.

"Daddy," the little voice says as the door knob turns and a frustrated grunt can be heard.

"Hold on sweetie," Derek calls, grabbing his pajama pants and slipping them on his legs. He waits for Mer to put her pants on before opening the door. The tiny girl comes burst into the room, jumping on to the bed. Her stuffed shark clutched in her hand.

"Good morning to you too," Meredith says lightly, sitting down on the bed with Maddie.

"Mommy, do you have to work all night again," she says sweetly, looking up at her mother.

"I have a few surgeries today but I will be home before dinner, promise," she says, moving the blonde hair away from her temple and kissing it slightly.

"What do you not like spending so much time with me?" Derek said, trying to sound slightly hurt. He sat down on the bed with his two favorite girls.

"I love being with you daddy, just miss mommy too," she pouts slightly, removing herself from her mother's arms and going to sit in her dad's lap.

"In a couple of days, daddy is going to have the surgery to fix his hand," Meredith reminds them, she is excited for her husband to be back completely to his old self.

"Does that mean aunt Liz is coming?" She says excitingly, Derek smiled at his daughter's excitement. He was glad his daughter loved his sisters even if she didn't see them a lot.

"Yes, it does," he nodded. She almost burst with excitement as she hopped on the bed.

"Careful now, let's go fix some breakfast for daddy because he has a lecture this morning," Meredith said standing up, lifting the little girl into her arms. She carried her into the kitchen, closing the bedroom door on the way out.

* * *

"Mommy, am I going with you or daddy?" Maddie said confused as she was sat down at the breakfast bar. Meredith went and pressed the start button on the coffee pot before stopping in the middle of the kitchen .

"I am taking you to daycare and daddy is picking you up," Meredith looked around the kitchen for something easy to fix for breakfast that she couldn't ruin and that wouldn't make her sick.

"Oh," Maddie sighed, Meredith reached into the pantry and grabbed the box of Cheerios. She took the princess bowl from the cupboard and placed it in front of Maddie, adding the Cheerios and some milk.

Meredith's eyes looked up as Amelia came through the front door, she looked exhausted.

"Hey Amelia, you look tired," Meredith noted from her appearance. Amelia shot Meredith a look and was about to speak before Derek came into the living room. He tucked the blue button up into his black slacks before buttoning them.

"Morning Amelia," Derek let out a brief smile as he came behind Meredith and to the coffee pot, reaching for a red coffee mug and pouring coffee into the mug.

"Hey Derek, do you have a minute?" Amelia asked awkwardly, she glanced at Meredith and she gave her a nod. Amelia was in no way prepared to tell her brother she was going to have a baby but she couldn't hide it much longer.

"Not really, I got to be at the hospital in forty-five minutes," he glanced down at his watch as he sipped the coffee. He noticed Meredith was lost so he put two pieces of wheat toast into the toaster for himself something to eat.

"Oh ok, it can wait til after you get off work," Amelia gulped, looking at Meredith for help. Meredith kept silent as she quickly made a dash back to her bedroom.

"What's the matter with her?" Amelia said, forgetting about the baby.

"I think she probably had to use the bathroom, I'll go check on her," he made an excuse as he went to go check on her. She went bent over the toilet, one hand trying to hold her hair as the other one gripped the counter for support. In a moments notice, Derek was behind her, rubbing her lower back as he held her hair back for her.

She felt relieved when Derek was behind her, she knew he was going to be able to support her. She felt sick, worse than previous days. Her head spinning as she leaned back against Derek for support. He just let her lean back, moving his hand to her stomach to rub slightly. They stayed like that until Meredith finally felt like she could stand up, holding on to the sink as she stood.

"Are you sure you can go to work?" He asked cautiously, wondering if the nausea was wearing off.

"Yes Derek, it's just some morning sickness," she grabbed her toothbrush, hurrying to get the taste of vomit out of her mouth.

"I got to go, you sure you're ok?" He asked as he looked down at his watch. She nodded, he placed a kiss on her temple before leaving the bathroom. She waited a second, recuperating from the vomiting before slowly making her way to the kitchen. Maddie still sat eating her cereal, Amelia sipping on coffee and reading something from a medical journal.

"Do you want to go to the hospital with us? I'm sure you can find a surgery or something," Meredith finally spoke as she slowly went over to the toaster to grab a slice of toast.

"Um no thanks, I am really exhausted. I'll just go take a nap," Amelia quickly made her way up to the guest room. Meredith just shook her head, grabbing a handful of the Cheerios to fulfill the slight hunger she had left. She waited for Maddie to finish her cereal before helping her off the chair and taking her up to her bedroom.

"Do you wanna pick out an outfit or do you want me to?" Meredith questioned, opening the closet that was filled with her clothes. She looked at Maddie who reached into her closet and grabbed one of the limited dresses in the closet. Meredith helped her get into the dress and pick out shoes.

Meredith walked Maddie down the stairs and let her play while she went into her room and got her clothes on, she straightened up the bed a little before returning to the little girl in the living room. She was pulling things out of the toy box, obvious she was searching for something.

"Mommy, have you seen Sharky?" she referred to her stuffed shark she carried with her everywhere. Meredith thought for a second before replying to her daughter.

"No sweetie. Get your shoes on so we can get going," she tried to stay calm, knowing if they waited any longer she would be late.

"Mommy, we have to find Sharky!" she cried, running up to her room. Meredith followed the little girl, knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere. Meredith helped her look for a minute, getting impatient with the little girl.

"Maddie sweetie, we can find your shark when you get home with daddy, he's a better finder than I am," she tried to reason with her daughter. She was determined to find that stuffed animal and Meredith knew she needed to reason with her in order to get anywhere.

"No! I can't leave Sharky! He has to be with me," she was almost in tears looking for the stuffed animal. Meredith tried to think of why this shark was so important to her, unable to think of any reason.

"Madelyn, the shark will still be here when you get home with daddy in a few hours. Mommy can't be late," she sighed, watching as the little girl continued to pull toys from the toy box.

"No! Aunt Cristina said that whenever I miss her to hug Sharky and now I lost them," she began to cry. Meredith froze, now remembering exactly where she got that stuffed animal from.

* * *

_"Maddie, come here for a second," Cristina said, reaching her arms out to the little girl. She happily went and sat down next to Cristina. Maddie looked up to Cristina curiously, watching as Cristina pulled the stuffed shark out of her bag._

_"In a few months, I will be going to live far away," Cristina started, talking about her fellowship._

_"Will I till be able to see you?" Maddie sounded upset as Cristina smiled at her, Cristina may have been cold hearted and never wanted kids but she always had a soft spot for Madelyn every since she was born._

_"I won't be able to see you all the time but I will still come and see you, you are my girl. Now when you are missing me and we can't see each other, I want you to take this shark and hug it," Cristina instructed, handing the stuffed shark to the little girl._

_"But sharks are bad," she questioned, remembering what the person at the aquarium informed her._

_"Oh no, not all sharks are bad. Being a shark is good, always be a shark," Cristina smirked, hugging the little girl tightly._

* * *

"Oh sweetie," Meredith remembered watching her person give her the shark. Meredith sat down on the floor, she had no idea how much this was really effecting Madelyn. Meredith reached for her daughter, grabbing her slightly and pulling her into her own lap. Maddie began crying harder, holding on to her mother.

Meredith felt torn, she let tears fall as her daughter cried in her arms. Work was now the last thing on her mind. All she cared about was helping her daughter feel better, she hated seeing her cry and to know it was because she was missing Cristina as much as she was made it even worse.

She felt Maddie begin to calm after what seemed like hours, Meredith loosened her grip on the little girl, watching her stare back at her. She looked at the hurt and pain the little girl was truly feeling and Meredith just felt completely broken and lost in that moment.

"Can we find Sharky?" Maddie sniffled, Meredith nodded, allowing the little girl to get up. She stood also, watching as the little girl continued to search the room.

"You look in here and in your playroom, I will go look everywhere else," Meredith watched as she nodded, continuing to search the room. Meredith grabbed her phone, sending a quick text to Owen to tell him that she would be late again before going to look for the stuffed animal.

Her mind slipped as she looked, she thought about things that could help Maddie. Meredith remembered her pediatrician suggesting to take Maddie to therapy if she began showing signs of distress or grief this bad. Meredith didn't want to take her daughter to therapy at such a young age, she didn't know if she would handle it well.

Relief washed over Meredith when she found the stuffed shark underneath one of Derek's pillows. She quickly grabbed the stuffed animal and ran to her daughter's room. Maddie looked up at her mother, tears still in her eyes. She quickly ran over to her mother, taking the stuffed shark from her hands and holding it tightly.

"There you are Sharky!" The little girl still had tears in her eyes but she seemed much happier now with the stuffed animal.

"Ok Maddie, now let's go. Remember why surgeons can't be late?" Meredith reminded her daughter. Maddie nodded, repeating the phrase her mother told her numerous times.

"Surgeons can't be late because people die when surgeons aren't there to fix them," She said to her mother before placing the shark under her arm and skipping into the living room. Meredith followed her, helping her put the rain coat on along with her backpack.

Meredith held her hand as they hurried out the front door, feeling the light drizzle fall from the sky as she helped Maddie into her car seat. She held the stuffed animal tighter than normal as Meredith buckled her into the seat before going to get into her car. Meredith was still a little shaken from her daughter's episode as she drove down the road, pulling up to the ferry dock.

After the short ride on the ferry and then the drive to the hospital, Meredith looked back at her daughter that was now falling asleep in the back seat. She hated having to wake her up but she knew she had to, since Meredith didn't want to risk anything by carrying her.

"Maddie honey, wake up," Meredith said lightly, beginning to unbuckle the seat belt. Maddie woke up, noticing she was at the hospital now and she let out a slight whine.

"I wanna go home mommy," she said in a whiny voice, making Meredith feel bad and not want to leave her at the daycare.

"I know sweetie, but daddy will take you home in just a little while," she said, helping the half-asleep little girl out of the car and on to the pavement. She clutched the shark in her arms and held out her hand for Meredith to hold. She took her daughter's hand, leading her across the parking lot and Ito the hospital. She took her into the daycare where she leaned down to kiss her goodbye.

"Daddy will be here before you know it sweet pea," she said, kissing her forehead and taking her in the daycare. She made sure Maddie settled alright before going straight to find Derek. She looked in the lecture room, the cafeteria, and in the skills lab and he was no where to be found. She finally found him in the attending's lounge talking to Mark.

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you," Meredith said breathless.

"Is everything ok?" He looked at her, Meredith suddenly felt her emotions catch up with her as she started crying. Derek immediately went to her, wrapping his arms around her and consoling her.

"Maddie misses Cristina and I don't know what to do about it. She is having these outburst and I don't know what to do when she does it. Like this morning she lost that stupid shark and had a complete meltdown. I just don't know how much more I can take," Meredith let it all out, not caring if anyone besides Derek was around.

"Shh, it's going to be alright," Derek tried comforting her. He knew his words weren't helping much but he didn't know what else to say.

"I'm a horrible mother, I never spend any time with her and then she has these fits when I try to be around and it's just so hard," Meredith continued to rant about how bad of a mother she was, "and now I am deciding to bring a baby into this world when I can't even be a decent mother to our daughter."

"Mer, you are an amazing mother. You can't be there for everything and Maddie will understand one day. She's having a hard time transiting and that's ok. She loves you and this baby is so lucky to have you as a mother," Derek leaned down and kissed her forehead. He was glad Mark had left before Meredith said that about the baby.

"I love you," Meredith looked up at him, going in for a kiss.

"And I love you. Now I'm going to clear my schedule and cancel my classes. Maddie doesn't need to be in daycare right now," Derek assured her.

"Good. Now I need to go before the idiot interns somehow kill every patient they touch," Meredith breathed out a deep breath. She wiped her face of any indication that she was cry and she hurried off.

"Now time to go get Maddie," Derek said to himself. He called and cancelled all his lectures that he had, grabbing his stuff. He quickly went down to the daycare to find Maddie quietly sitting with her stuffed animal.

"Hi princess," Derek had a huge smile on his face as he approached his daughter.

"Daddy!" She went straight for him and grabbed on to his leg. One arm protecting the stuffed animal as she held on for dear life.

"How's my princess?" he ran his hand over her locks and kissed her forehead.

"Good, ish we going home?" She asked innocently. His heart broke, she seemed fine but also very worried. How could his daughter be traumatized at such a young age? She should have never gone through anything she has, she is too young.

"We sure are, let's go get your backpack," he carried her over and grabbed the backpack. He let her hold on to it as they left the daycare and went to his car.

* * *

"This year's intern's are complete idiots," Lexie complained as she sat down next to her sister that was on her phone.

"Meredith?" she tried to get her attention away from the phone. Meredith looked up clueless that Lexie was there.

'Yes?" Meredith asked before she went back to her phone.

"What is wrong with you?" Lexie asked

"Maddie, she had this breakdown this morning and so Derek took her home and I'm worried," she kept her eyes glued to the small screen.

"What was it about?" Lexie asked, now concerned. She loved her niece more than anything.

"She lost that stuffed animal Cristina got her, I think she's finally grieving," Meredith laid her phone down, her whole body still shaken from the events earlier. Derek said Maddie was fine, she was playing as normal.

"Well do you think it's something more? That maybe she might need to go see someone?" Lexie asked cautiously. She hated to admit but therapy had helped her, she agreed that everyone from the crash should have seen a therapist.

"You mean a therapist? No way Lex. She is just a kid!" Meredith got defensive. She didn't think her daughter needed to see someone, she was strong and could handle it.

"Mer come on, she's just a kid. Once wouldn't hurt anything," she started in on Meredith.

"Exactly, she is a kid. That is why it is a no Lexie. Please drop it," Meredith begged, she didn't wanna talk about taking her three year old to a therapist.

"Ok. Fine. Well I will talk to you later, please think about it," Lexie stood up, giving a longing look to Meredith.

"Bye Lex," Meredith went back to her phone. Her daughter did not need a therapist. She will be fine. She is just grieving and this is her way of dealing with it.

* * *

"Hey Derek," Amelia opened the front door to the house, Derek was in the kitchen cooking. She knew she had to tell him, she couldn't hold out anymore. This was it. She was scared as hell, who wouldn't be?

"Hey Amy? Where you been?" He glanced behind him and continued what he was doing.

"I was just at Seattle Pres, visiting a friend from Med school,"she lied, she couldn't tell him she was actually putting in a job application then went try and talk to Owen. She lifted herself into the stool at the breakfast bar and watched her brother.

"That's nice, Maddie is upstairs if you want to go play with her," he didn't want to talk to his sister right now.

"Derek, I really need to talk to you," Amelia shifted in the stool. She didn't know how to even start this conversation with him. She never thought she would have to have this conversation with her brother.

"I'm listening," he said as he was trying to fix dinner. He continued to cook as Amelia tried to think of a way to tell him.

"So um I have some things to tell you and I don't know how you will react. You'll probably be mad, or I don't know really. I don't want you to freak out though, I'm happy, I think..." Amelia said extremely fast, not sure what else to say but wanting to prepare him.

"Just spit it out Amy," he sighed, flipping the chicken over in the pan.

"I'm pregnant."

"What!" He quickly turned around to face her, the shock in his face was completely evident.

"Do I need to repeat myself?" she tried to make light of the situation, Derek didn't think it was funny.

"How? Not what I mean, but how is James about this?" he asked unknowing that the baby was not in fact James.

"It's not his..." she said quietly.

"Oh god Amelia, what have you gotten yourself into?" he rolled his eyes. His baby sister was always one to get herself into some kind of trouble.

"Derek, come on. The father know's about the baby, he just wants to do some thinking," Amelia said astonished her brother would think of her that way.

"Who is it?" he questioned.

"You will find out in time, but for now I just want you to know I am not leaving Seattle. I am going to get myself a hotel tomorrow so I won't have to be in your hair," she made it clear she didn't want to mooch off her brother.

"Amy come on, you can stay here," Derek wasn't going to kick his pregnant baby sister out of the house.

"Ok but only for a week or two, until I find myself an apartment. I'l be upstairs," she said before going up. That went better than she expected, he didn't get angry or yell. She didn't know what changed her big brother but she did know she liked it.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: It has been forever since I have updated this story. I know i promised an update a while ago but I just have honestly had writer's block for this story and I still can't really get my head back into this story but I really want to because I love the story line I have set up for this. I think once i get the next few chapter's written I can get passed the writer's block I have for this and start posting more. Until I can get out of this funk, this story will still be on its hiatus but I will try and get another chapter up soon. Thank you so much for those who are being patient with me. **

* * *

Meredith woke up, she felt someone staring at her as she turned around, her suspicions correct. Derek's smile widened when Meredith's sleepy gaze met his more-awake one.

"Were you watching me sleep, again?" she yawned, she felt something different about herself. She wasn't nauseated like she had woken up like for the past week, she felt scared but held anything back just in case she was just freaking out.

"Just a little, what can I say? You are extremely sexy when you sleep," he smiled, leaning down and placing a kiss on her lips. She rolled her eyes, placing another kiss back on his lips.

"Mm, so since we both have the day off, I was thinking maybe we could take Maddie to the zoo," Derek suggested, placing a single strand of hair behind Meredith's ear.

"With her allergies? No," she shook her head, watching his brows furrow just a bit.

"Right. Maybe the aquarium?" He thought, hoping she would feel up to it.

"Yeah, sounds alright. I need to take a shower," Meredith sighed, sitting up. As she sat up, her stomach seemed to do a flip and she felt it again. She quickly grabbed one of the peppermints from the bedside table.

"Still have morning sickness?" He sighed, he did want to suggest morning sex in the shower but he knew she would turn him down. He sat up from the bed and grabbed his clothes for the day, putting them on rather quickly.

"Yes Derek, I am only 7 weeks, Of course I am still going to have morning sickness. Can you get Maddie up and fix her breakfast while I shower real quick?" She said, standing up, he nodded. Her old, hole-filled Dartmouth t-shirt hung over her shoulders as she shuffled to the bathroom. She saw the light bags under her eyes in the mirror. She felt like she could sleep forever if someone would let her.

She turned the knob, letting the water fall from the shower head. She pulled off her clothes before stepping into the shower, letting the warm water fall over her head. She was thankful for the morning nausea, it showed she still was carrying the sac of cells in her uterus.

* * *

"Morning sunshine," Derek said, opening the curtains in his daughter's bedroom.

"No," she whined, pulling the blankets over her head.

"Yes baby girl, we have a big day ahead of us," Derek said as he grabbed one of the pre-made outfits Meredith does and laid it on the chair next to the wardrobe.

"Why?" She groaned from under the blankets. Derek just shook his head, she was definitely like her mother.

"Because, we are going to the aquarium so put on the clothes I laid out so we can get going," he said, pulling the blankets away from her. She sat up and pouted, looking up at him.

"Daddy, it's too early," she whined, climbing out of the bed. Her thick curls a complete mess as she shuffled slowly to the light blue shirt with a coral flower on it and white leggings.

"I know sweet pea," Derek laughed before he went back downstairs, searching through the pantry for something to cook. He grabbed the box of muesli for himself and Cheerios for Maddie and poured her a small bowl, adding almond milk. He started the coffee before fixing his muesli and sitting down at the breakfast bar.

To Derek's surprise, Amelia comes down the stairs, completely dressed and ready for something.

"Amy," he looked up at his sister questionably.

"I have a job interview," she said, grabbing two pieces of wheat bread, placing them into the toaster.

"Where?" He questioned, knowing it was either at SGMW or Seattle Pres.

"Seattle Pres, they are looking for a new head of neuro and I'm ready and willing," she smiled, grabbing the toast as it popped from the toaster.

"I think you should be eating more than that since you are eating for two," he grimaced, he still hated the idea of his baby sister being pregnant even if she was in her thirties.

"I will grab something on the way there, just need a little something before then," she said, grabbing her purse and rushing out the door just as Maddie came down the stairs, dressed but her hair was still a mess.

"Maddie, your breakfast is up here," he said, lifting her on the stool. He shook his head at the mess that she called hair.

"Thank you daddy," she said, pushing the hair that fell in her face back.

"We need to cut your hair," he said, grabbing the brush from the counter and pulling it through the blonde curls that went a quarter way down her back.

"No, I ike my hair!" she said sadly, taking a bite of her cereal.

"Ok," he rolled his eyes as he braided her hair down her back, realizing how thankful he was that he grew up with four sisters.

"Morning princess," Meredith had a smile on her face as she came from the bedroom, her natural wavy hair rested on the red sweater she had on.

"Mommy, daddy is tryin to cut my hair," she pouted to her mother, hoping she would help.

"I love your hair," she smiled at Derek, sending him a thank you with her eyes for fixing her hair. Meredith looked around the kitchen, nothing sounded or look appealing to her as she poured a cup of coffee.

"See, mommy said no," she said satisfied that her mother took her side as she finished off her cereal.

"Alright, we aren't cutting it yet," he sighed, sitting back down at his bowl. He watched Meredith search through the cupboards for something to eat, settling on a handful of Cheerios and an apple.

"Don't even say it," Meredith glared at Derek, knowing what he was thinking. She didn't feel like eating anything in the morning times with this baby.

"I wasn't," he shrugged, pulling out his phone and looking through the weather application.

"Maddie, here's your medicine," Meredith said, grabbing the same pill Arizona gave her previously and handing it to her. She took it without complaining like she usually did.

"It's going to be raining soon so if we want to make it there before it rains we need to leave soon," he said, standing up and putting his and Maddie's bowl in the sink. He went to the coat closet, grabbing down Maddie's raincoat along with his own.

"Ok, Maddie get your shoes on," Meredith said, pointing to the light blue rain boots. She did without putting up the usual fight, then she put on her rain coat.

"You are being so good today," Derek said, lifting her ups and tickling her side.

"Daddy! Top it!" She giggled, wiggling in his arms.

"You two are so silly," Meredith let out a giggle before grabbing her raincoat. She loved when her baby girl was happy, when she didn't have her little outburst. She followed Derek out the door as he carried a giggling Maddie.

"Daddy, when are we going to get aunt Liz?" She quipped from his arms, her little hand running through the side of his head.

"We have to go pick her up after the aquarium," he reminded her, putting her in the car seat. He buckled her in quickly, noticing the dark clouds rolling through.

"It's about to start coming down," Derek noted, getting in the front seat. He watched as Meredith buckled herself in before pulling out of the driveway. He caught himself glancing at her as they drove through the familiar road. Her body glowed, even with the gloomy state outside, she glowed.

"Stop staring," she whispered at him. She had noticed he had been staring at her the whole time they have been in the car.

"I can't, you're too beautiful," he winked, her cheeks turned slightly pink as she turned her head to look out the window. She watched the trees pass, hearing Maddie sitting in the back talking to herself like she always did on car rides.

When they got to the ferry dock, Maddie begged to go to the top deck on the ferry but Derek managed to explain they couldn't because of the rain. She was just like her father, they both had the weird obsession with ferry boats.

"Daddy, the clash!" Maddie begged. Meredith gave Derek an evil stare, she didn't want her daughter listening to The Clash.

"Really Derek?" She rolled her eyes slightly.

"What can I say? She's just like me," he had a satisfied look on his face when he put in the CD. Maddie immediately started singing along.

"I hope this one has my taste in music," Meredith whispered, only loud enough for Derek to hear her. Derek's smile grew wider, she was accepting that this baby was ok and it was alive.

They arrived at the aquarium which was packed on this rainy day. They found a parking spot semi-close to the front, Meredith going to get Maddie out of her car seat.

"Now Maddie, please hold mine or your daddy's hand at all times. There are a lot of people here and I don't wanna loose you," she asked nicely as she got her out of the car.

"Ok mommy," she reached up and held on to her mother's hand tightly. Meredith smiled down at her as they waited at the back of the car for Derek to get the stroller for when Maddie doesn't want to walk anymore.

"Let's go," Derek said breathlessly, finally unfolding the complicated stroller. They walked together, Maddie holding each of their hands as Derek rolled the stroller with his free hand up to stand in the large line to get in.

* * *

"Thank you so much, I will be here Monday morning at 8am on the dot," Amelia smiled widely, holding out her hand. She shook hands with her new chief before walking out of the conference room. Seattle Pres was no-where near as large as SGMW but it was manageable. She got on the elevator, digging her phone from her bag and found her phone. She had a missed call and a text from Owen.

She read over it and replied that she could meet him for lunch, her stomach slowly rolled. She had a feeling he finally wanted to talk about the baby. Her hand automatically went to her stomach, she rubbed it slightly. She could feel small flutters inside her stomach, her baby was alright.

Amelia got to her car and drove to the small cafe that was right near SGMW and she parked the car. She saw a nervous Owen waiting inside for her, he tapped his fingers on the table and his knee bounced anxiously. She felt the same way as she made her way inside.

"Hey Owen," she smiled briefly before sitting down.

"Hey Amelia," he swallowed. He couldn't be anymore nervous if he tried.

"So what did you want to talk about?" She asked, getting comfortable in her seat. Being around Owen was very uncomfortable, they barely knew each other.

"The baby, I want to be a father to this baby. I always dreamed of having a family, though I thought it was going to be with Cristina..." He stopped, it still pained him to talk about her at all. Even though when she left, they were fighting and most likely were going to get a divorce, he still loved her.

"Owen, you don't have to talk about her," Amelia reached out and touched his hand. He waited a second before he looked at her and slowly moved his hand away.

"I know. Even though this isn't how I thought, I want this more than you think. It's unexpected but kids are always unexpected. And I also want to get to know you, not as a boyfriend or anything but as a friend and the mother of my child," he explained. Neither of them were ready for any kind of relationship, especially not now.

"So our main focus is the baby, right?" She asked, he hand rested on the small baby bump that was developing.

"Always," he nodded in agreement. The two started talking, trying to get the awkward phase out of the way. Amelia being herself, she didn't give Owen many intimate details except about her family. Owen talked a little about his life in the military, leaving out the gruesome parts.

"So the woods, you actually like it?" Amelia joked, she knew he was staying in Derek's trailer because she had seen him a few nights standing outside on the small deck.

"It's quiet, nice getting away from the hectic hospital,"he explained. He actually really enjoyed nature and it's beauty.

"That is true but, bugs and bears and woodys creatures," she cringed at the thought of all the bugs, she hated anything with more than four legs. He just laughed in response, he didn't know if it was the way her face scrunched in response to the bugs or just her but he was actually enjoying himself.

"It's not that bad, you know one time..." he started to tell a story before his pager started beeping and he grabbed it from his side.

"It's a 911, I have to go," he explained, forgetting she was also a doctor.

"Yeah I understand, go save lives," she smiled up at him as he stood and grabbed his coat.

"I had fun, we have to do it again sometime," he smiled back down at her, he didn't know he could have so much natural chemistry with someone other than Cristina.

"We do, I'll call you," she smiled watching him leave. Something about him made her feel different. His soft, blue eyes and his messy red hair made him seem so welcoming. She was glad she met him in that bar that night.

* * *

Halfway through the aquarium, Maddie got into the stroller and fell asleep. Meredith and Derek walked hand-in-hand through the blue tunnels. They were now surrounded by all the tropical fish, the bright colors in the low light made them glow.

"I never thought fish was that interesting," Meredith spoke up as they slowly walked.

"I did, you know when I was younger, I wanted to be a scuba diver?" Derek smiled down at her, she looked curiously up at him.

"I had no idea, why did you want to?" she stopped and sat on one of the benches. She had never heard this story from him. He sat next to her, turning the stroller so they could see Maddie asleep inside.

"Well when I was around 6, we all went down to the beach one day and dad had bought all of us snorkeling gear and my sister's hated it but me and dad spent all day out in the water. I remember my dad having to drag me out of the water when it started getting dark," he grinned at the memory.

"That's a cute story, now I hope this baby is a boy so you can have that," Meredith smiled, putting her hand on the undeveloped bump. Derek placed his hand over hers and smiled also.

"I don't care what this baby is, just as long as it is healthy," Derek loved his wife and their fetus.

"Oh you secretly want it to be a boy too," she playfully hit is arm and he gasped slightly.

He laughed at her small giggles and nodded. It was true, he had hoped for a boy. Having a boy would make his whole life complete. He always imagined having a son that he could take fishing and play baseball with.

"So what? You want a boy too," he teased and she giggled again.

"I do," she continued to giggle. They both laughed and Maddie started to stir.

"Well good morning sleepy head," Meredith smiled at her daughter. Maddie sleepily wiped her eyes and looked around.

"Did we miss the sharky's?"she realized that she had fell asleep and missed some of the exhibits.

"No Maddie, they are coming up next," Derek replied. She got out of the stroller and climbed into his lap, still half asleep.

"Did you have a good nap?" Meredith asked sweetly,she nodded.

"Tan we go see the sharky's and go pick up Lizzie," she asked.

"Sure thing, do you want to walk?" Derek asked and she shook her head. He stood up and put her on his hip and Meredith got the stroller to push. They continued to walk through the tunnel, picking out the bright colored fish for Maddie.

"Here comes the shark exhibit," Meredith said as she went through the exit first, Derek following behind. They walked into the beginning, pointing out the baby hammerhead sharks and the facts the aquarium had plastered all over the glass.

"Hey Maddie, did you know Hammerhead sharks can swim at speed of 25 miles per hour," Meredith read off one of the card.

"Dats fast, Mommy why is they named that?" Maddie asked curiously, she wiggled out of Derek's arms and over to her mother.

"Well their head is shaped kind of like a hammer," Meredith guess, she hoped there wasn't a scientific reason for that. Maddie continued to ask questions about all the different sharks.

"Mommy look! It's sharky!" she squealed, pointing out one of the tiger sharks.

"It sure is sweetie, here stand with daddy so I can get your picture with the shark!" Meredith said, grabbing her phone out. Derek happily picked up Maddie and stood against the glass tunnel. Meredith took about 10 pictures before Maddie started trying to get down. They continued down the tunnel, Maddie switching between Derek and Meredith.

"Ok, we tan go now I seen sharky," she smiled her cheeky grin.

"Not yet, we have to finish this tunnel then we can leave," Derek pointed out, she didn't put up a fight and continued to walk with them. They got to the end where the stingray's and horseshoe crabs were in the small tank where kids could touch them.

"Hey Maddie, you want to touch the stingray?" Derek asked hopeful.

"Daddy, dey will ting you!" she gasped. He laughed and shook his head.

"No, only if you touch their tail," he reassured her by going to the tank. He showed her by touching one of them.

"See, no big deal," he shrugged, she was still a little hesitant but Derek managed to get her to touch one of them.

"Ew it slimy," she wiped her hand across Derek's pants and went over to Meredith. Derek laughed as he got some of the hand sanitizer from the guy working the tank and he put some in her hands, instructing her to rub them together.

"Ok, so Lizzie's flight arrives in 30 minutes so if we go straight there, we can meet her at her gates as she is getting off," Derek said as he took the stroller from Meredith and put Maddie into the stroller.

"Alright, then we can go grab a late lunch?" Meredith asked, grabbing the zip-lock bag with goldfish inside and started eating on them.

"If that is what you want," he shrugged. They walked faster toward the exit, they were all pretty hungry and ready to eat. Maddie had almost fallen asleep as they made it to the car. Meredith put her in her car seat while Derek put the stroller away.

"So are you excited to see my sister," Derek smirked, he knew Meredith wasn't a fan of the whole family thing. He just hoped they got along while she stayed with them.

"I don't know, I am just glad it's not Nancy," Meredith mumbled.

"Oh why not?" he replied jokingly. Nancy was by far not his favorite sister but he had to love her.

"Derek she hates me," Meredith gasp, she hated replaying the incident where she met Nancy the first time.

"Oh she does not, she just doesn't know you," Derek tried to explain. Things happened and she admitted that Meredith wasn't that bad the first Christmas they spent with his family when Maddie was just a baby.

"She still calls me the slutty intern," she rolled her eyes. She could honestly say she did not like Nancy herself, it's was a mutual dislike in her opinion.

"She's joking," Derek said defensively. He glanced over at Meredith as they got closer to the airport. She would flinch every so slightly at the sound of an airplane flying above. He reached over and put his hand on her knee, squeezing gently.

"I know," she nodded. She tried to focus on her breathing as they pulled into the airport parking lot.

"Are you ok?" He asked cautiously.

She just nodded in response. She didn't want to admit she was scared to death. She had to get over her fear sooner or later, this was just another step. She was ready to get this over with, ready to hurry up and leave.

Derek was grateful Maddie was asleep, he got the stroller out and put her inside. He kept an eye on Meredith, he could tell she was secretly freaking out. They walked together, her standing extremely close to him with her arm linked into his. This was her coping, she had to focus on breathing and hold on to Derek.

They waited by the baggage claim, it seemed like forever before they saw a glimpse of Lizzie making her way through the crowd of people. Her dark hair was the trait of the Shepherd's while her eyes were brown like Carolyn's. She had the same smile as the rest of the Shepherd's as she made their way to them.

"Der Bear," Lizzie said as she got to her brother. Derek had let go of the stroller and Meredith to give his sister a hug.

"Liz, good to see you," he smiled as he pulled away from his sister.

"Always, and nice to see you Meredith," Lizzie had a sympathetic smile which made Meredith want to hide away. She hated that look she got from people who knew about the plane.

"You too," Meredith gave her a smile.

"Alright, so we are going to get your bag and take you to this amazing place to eat," Derek explained as he pushed the stroller again toward the conveyor belt to grab the luggage. Meredith knew she had a long week in store with Lizzie being here.


End file.
